Email Poem

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Poem

Empty.
Used up.
Used full-stop.

Much as this is true, there's more to say than ever, just
Bursting to break through,
Stuck in my head, my throat, 
Clogged up with guilt,
I refuse to be a burden but I refuse to fall back down.

Tripping round the corner, kick at the dried-up dirt,
Scuffs my worn-out shoes,
Doesn't make me feel stronger, in control,

Washing, shower the shame away,
Turn the spray up 'til the skin is burning,
Nothing sinks in deep enough,
Heart stays cold, unresponsive,
Beyond repair, this one's a write-off,

Reflection shows a pitiful display,
Innocence? Surely must be some?
Quickly smear the mask on,
They'll never know the goodness has gone,
True ugliness comes from within after all.

Life's not a dance, mine's a dancefloor,
Sorry, full now, you can't come in,
The music's dull but they've paid the entrance fee,
Stick around for a bit, no intention to stay.

Sweet somebody, I need you so bad,
It's not enough, never enough, tell me what to do,
Take over my eyes, my ears, my mouth,
Seize my senses and restore my sense,

I think too much, never a good idea
When your mind's a mess of melted guesses,
Distressing to know so many right answers
And lose all the points in the working-out,

Still only scratching the surface,
Marks so deep don't even show,
Everything aches, lie down and exhale,
So full of nothing that it can't escape,

I'm scooped out like ice-cream when it's frozen solid,
And really you should leave it to melt,
Not force in the spoon and claw it out again,
No wonder it hurts your head to eat,

There were smiles and butterflies here,
Gone now,
The memories remain, prevent starting anew,

It'd be half-empty but the rest has spilt, so I have
Nothing in my cup,
Stop it brain, just go to sleep and
Please refrain from waking up.

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