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I walk into the AYA studio, apprehensive as I have never taken a dance class.
"Come on it!" Suzette, our dance master says. On the wall behind her there is a giant Moose wearing a pink bow, and pantaloons. A cartoon moose, and behind the moose it says "Attitudes Adjusted While You Wait", which is a bit odd even for AYA - Adjust Your Attitude, Inc.

I see my friend Cat who was supposed to save me a spot on the floor next to her, but didn't. She gives me an apologetic wave. I am so mad, I don't wave back. I stomp toward Ugly Witza .  On the outside, Witza is
gorgeous, a fashion-model type with perfect boobs, and stuff. It's the only spot left. Actually, two spots left, as Witza's true personality has come out many times already.

"Lean back!" Suzette says, "Now forward, now to the side."
"Left side or right side?"
"Star side!" I yell, making a few laugh. Suzette reminds me of the rules.
I roll my eyes nicely.
We jump twice, hop three times, twirl twice, it's something I can do now.
I know these words. Then we plummet, which means bend at the waist
with our arms loose, swinging our hands gently back and forth like a
willow tree.

"Lock and layer," Suzette says. I look to see what others are doing, as I have no idea what this means. They are bringing their noses to their knees. What? Who can DO THAT?????  I am horrified.
"Something wrong?" Suzette asks. "I'm a calf, I can't do that!" I tell her.
"AYA," she reminds me in a merrily snippy way.
Dang!
"Now, we are all going to time-table past the front door, and out
into the street."
I'm a 191 pound woman stuffed into a black leotard, there is no way I am going to time-table out the front door. I run for the bathroom.
"Is this an EMERGENCY?" Suzette yells.
"I've already wet myself!" I yell back.
Some of the time tablers are laughing now, but not Cat. She knows I am angry at her.
The A dancers and the B dancers are the first to time table black in.
"I hope you had fun," I say to Cat. 
"Great fun," she said.. "My boyfriend's grandpa was out there, and he ran over to chat, which earned me an extra fifteen minutes on the exercise bike.  Punishments are always doled out when Suzette sees
us "off task" from the AYA rules.
"Let's windmill ourselves to the blue chair, then we will do two quarter master rolls, a slam-dunk doodle, and four giant whoppeo's.
I jump up and run for the bathroom.  I am the 12th in line by the time I get there, and only 14 of us have enrolled in this dance class.
"That's great!" Suzette is saying to Cat. "You're one of my two  favorites."
I cannot help wondering if I am the other one.

Submitted on 4/25/18
A New Dance Explained Lyric Contest
by Brenda Chirl
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