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Poem

Gainesville is the status quotidian I’m still living in
It’s a place I used to stay
Where I now escape to, far from home, trying to recognize yesterday’s affections in today

The world has changed but maybe my old friends are still there
Maybe they will recognize me and a laugh we’ll then share.

I’m chained to this hope, restrained from going forward, getting older, and walking to the light.
Just trying to see in today what used to be of my life
Without seeing the reasons I can’t even bleed, and without remembering the hands on the stakes and mistakes piercing my back as my life left me here
Leaving me a dead spirit to wander but go nowhere

Whose touch nobody can feel; it’s just a passing chill down their necks
And if anyone laid a hand on this shipwreck
It would just go through me no matter how much I wanted to feel its warmth again

Nobody hears me; the noise is just a startling crash of glass to the next room’s floor
Caused by a force nobody sees anymore
A force that is too fragile and fleeting to touch lest it shatter
And to the few who see it, it’s a cause much too broken to matter. 

Because they are as afraid to look as I am afraid to be anything other than a passing apparition 
Fading as suddenly as it appeared, as easy come and easy go as the last passing season. 

They can’t touch me today
And I’ll never leave this day
Tomorrow and yesterday are as distant and vacant as my gaze 
Looking through you for my former life that left me here with nothing but today.

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