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Poetry/Verse/My Always Inner Voice/AI Free
Copyright Protected, ID  06-1738-264-10
All Rights Reserved, 2025, Constance La France
Copying any part of this work is prohibited.

Written, June 10, 2025
For the International Contest, My Inner Voice Told Me
Sponsor, Anouchka Gangabissoon, Judged, 08/10/2025

Second Place

Submitted to the International Contest, 2025 Poetry Marathon Mile 9

Sponsor, Mark Toney , Second Place

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My Always Inner Voice

I walked past headstones old and crumbling and others newer,
past decaying flowers and planted flowers and fake flowers:
while hidden birds sang me a symphony and squirrels scampered,
and then, I was standing at the family grave reading the names,
Mom had just died, dad, my sister and grandma were gone too;
just names engraved in cold stone for eternity, I stood weeping.

My secret inner voice was chattering, murmuring, whispering,
crying you need to go to the cemetery office, there is something:
there it told me, something you need to know, I was so confused,
leaving the rose bouquet I had brought, I retraced my steps,
at the office I gave my name and the plot number and said;
I would like the names of all buried there (where did that come from.)

Waiting as the lady checked, my subconcious was talking,
done with her search she told me the name of all I expected:
and then she said something I could not believe ... and the baby,
I heard myself ask, the date of death, and I thought I would faint ,
you see I gave birth as a teen on exactly that day years ago;
and had been told my baby boy had been adopted from the hospital.

I had to swallow my hurt and I asked her can I still engrave his name,
yes, she said, and we worked out the details and I paid for it;
we will call when done ... I left thinking why, why was I not told,
my mother never told me, even on her death bed she revealed nothing,
and what of my father, or my grandma, never a word did they say;
over the following days I talked with my concealed inner voice.

I wept tears and tried to imagine my baby boy in my arms again,
the same word echoing, repeating, why, why, why, why, why, why:
went back when the engraving was done, he had a name, he existed,
not some dirty secret, buried ... I have learnt overtime to forgive them;
though will never understand, but I believe in God and he told me to.

Please Login to post a comment

CayCay Jennings Date: 8/25/2025 7:34:00 PM Beautiful Constance, so very moving and worthy of high placement. Congratulations!!! Poetry hugs ... CayCay Login to Reply Constance La France Date: 8/26/2025 6:48:00 AM CayCay, thank you for the compliment, comment and congratulations, blessings and hugs ~Constance

Susan Ashley Date: 8/24/2025 9:18:00 AM Dear Constance, your tender poem is such a textured evocative verse and emotional introspection. When we don't know "why" we can wallow and suffer but the power of surrender and forgiveness sets us free, as your last two lines so poignantly express. The beauty of grief and sad revelations so beautifully captured by your poetic pen. Congratulations for your success in Mark's contest. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan Login to Reply Constance La France Date: 8/24/2025 5:23:00 PM Susan, thankyou for beautiful comment, appreciate, and for the compliment and congratulations, I will never know the why as everyone who would know is dead, but it still haunts me though I have forgiven, blessings ~Constance

Andrea Dietrich Date: 8/22/2025 4:20:00 PM This is so tragic and emotive. Congrats, Constance , on a superlative win Login to Reply Constance La France Date: 8/24/2025 5:24:00 PM Andrea, thank you for your comment, compliment and congrats, I was so close to my mom, and still ask myself, why sometimes, though forgiven, blessings ~Constance

Lin Lane Date: 8/22/2025 2:26:00 PM Our inner voice speaks when the need arises, but too often we ignore it. Your pain is told in such a way that you garner the interest and sympathy of your readers but also respect for the telling of such painful personal dealings. Thank you for sharing your hurt and heart, Constance. Get back in this race! Login to Reply Constance La France Date: 8/24/2025 5:26:00 PM Lin, thank you for the lovely comment and compliment and encouragement, yes, Mark did not place me for about 3 contests, more why's ? blessings ~Constance

Mark Toney Date: 8/22/2025 12:46:00 PM Constance, what an emotionally devastating experience! Thank you for sharing your heart with us. A Fav poem for me. Congratulations on your second place finish on Mile 9 of my 2025 Poetry Marathon Contest. Keep your running shoes on, because Mile 10 has already started. Login to Reply Constance La France Date: 8/24/2025 5:27:00 PM Mark, thank you for the comment, compliment and FAV and for the congratulations, appreciate, blessings ~Constance