Notes About The Poem

January 11, 2025

N/A
Premiere Contest: 2025 Poetry Marathon Mile 2
Sponsor: Mark Toney

~ Second Place ~
Premiere Contest: Premiere VII - Open
Sponsor: Rob Carmack


 

Moonflower Of Maleficent Magnificence

Ah, luminous white she blooms a deceptive ghost  
lover of dark arts ripe in charisma and night
moon seducer  logic diffuser  defense reducer  
user of dreams  abuser of romance
tempter-serpent twines and vines
a tendril's slither  noiseless
vanilla viper—  she’s a fever teaser
damn well make you a heartbreak believer

celestial and terrestrial  she’s a territorial force
spider-vein-lightning crackles across neuronal nebulae
behind your glister eyes firework-fantasies flicker
desire— a brush fire— engulfs your cerebral star fields
razing you to burn red marrow to ash... 
oh you long— you long to be the phoenix on her pyre
writhing and rising  again  and  again

you yearn to  pluck her   play her   possess her
place her in a solitary bud vase
share your lust of ardor with hungry admiration

resist the thirst of your hands to touch
resist the airy lariat of her buttercream-spice  
resist the thirst of your taste buds to baste in her taste
as honey-whines drip from her summer-wine lips 
poised in parted pout to poison you

physical and ethereal she wears an imperial crown
she steals your stars and flaunts them in her eyes
dare her when she unfurls— a swan against black satin 
she’ll wrestle your heart from your chest
burst it with pin-prick-pupils of scorn
save it in her cat’s paw purse for her verse—
before she mousetraps your bleats and mercy pleas
within the mantrap of her parasol pleats
 
leaving you alone to skin your soul 
to mend the hole where your old self ends
and your new self melts into moans you now own
Copyright © | Year Posted 2025


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Date: 7/26/2025 2:07:00 PM
“ physical and ethereal she wears an imperial crown she steals your stars and flaunts them in her eyes dare her when she unfurls— a swan against black satin she’ll wrestle your heart from your chest burst it with pin-prick-pupils of scorn” With verses as wonderful as this you are certainly celebrated as a winner! Loved this so much! Congratulations
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Susan Ashley
Date: 7/30/2025 10:33:00 AM
Dear Karen, I'm elated to know that you loved my poem! That means so much to me. Thank you for sharing your treasured thoughts with me. Your gracious visit and heartwarming congrats are deeply appreciated. Warmest wishes, my poet friend.. ~Susan
Date: 7/25/2025 11:16:00 AM
My Dearest Rhyme Time Friend, from the first line to the last stanza your creative energy "blooms" not as a "vanilla viper" but as a flower of beauty. Fabulous internal rhymes! Every line captures different parts of the flower comparing, contrasting, it's beauty and it's deadly poison possessing the soul with a subtle, yet alluring, sensuality of seduction and possession. Your writing is so engaging, so original, I look forward to every poem birthed from your amazing talent, sweet poetry sis! Blessings on fragrant wings. Congratulations!
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Susan Ashley
Date: 7/30/2025 10:30:00 AM
My Dearest Rhyme Time Friend, I'm elated to receive your gracious visit and beautiful comments. Your golden presence lights my poem in a wonderful way, the same way your friendship lightens and brightens my day. It's so wonderful to share poetry with you, my creative poetry sis! Thank you for sharing in the imagery and emotions of this piece with me. Your thoughts and kind congrats are treasured! Warmest wishes sent to you on buttercream spiced breezes.. ~Susan
Date: 7/25/2025 6:23:00 AM
What a delightful poem, dear Susan. Your poetic voice and the captivating mixture of words in your vibrant, conveyed diction are truly admirable. Incredibly impactful, and I appreciate the use of imagery throughout. This is quite reflective and profoundly engaged with the various complexities of human existence, my friend. Congratulations on your placement!
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Susan Ashley
Date: 7/30/2025 10:21:00 AM
Dear Lasaad, your lovely and insightful comments are a joy to receive. Thank you for sharing in the emotions and imagery of this poem with me. You see into the heart of my poem with clarity. Your kind congrats and poetry friendship are both appreciated. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 7/25/2025 5:48:00 AM
A double honour, POTD and Contest winner. Well done!
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Susan Ashley
Date: 7/30/2025 10:19:00 AM
Dear Richard, thank you for your gracious visit and kind recognition. Warmest wishes, my poet friend.. ~Susan
Date: 7/25/2025 5:34:00 AM
This poem reminds me of my favorite chapter in Proverbs (KJV), chapter 7. Temptation never rests, stalking us every day.
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Susan Ashley
Date: 7/30/2025 10:16:00 AM
Dear Rob, I'm truly honored by my poem's placement in your esteemed contest. It's a pleasure to share the podium with the talented poets on your list. Thank you for your insightful comments, so true. Warmest wishes, my poet friend.. ~Susan
Date: 2/10/2025 1:54:00 AM
WOW Susan Belated congratulations on POTD. We had a Moonflower Cactus when we lived in Hawaii. You words capture so well ,vanilla viper, airy lariat of spicy buttercream but my fav line,” she steals your stars and flaunts them in her eyes,Big hugs, SuZ
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Susan Ashley
Date: 2/10/2025 5:44:00 AM
Dear SuZ, what a delight to find your beautiful comments gracing my poem this morning. Your moon flower cactus must have been amazing! Thank you for sharing your wonderful thoughts and for your kind congrats. Your friendship is appreciated. Warmest wishes my poet friend.. ~Susan
Date: 1/28/2025 12:22:00 AM
What a wonderful poem. Wow. The moonflower has very special meaning for me and I am deeply touched by your poem. Sending you loving wishes, Kai
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Susan Ashley
Date: 2/2/2025 7:37:00 AM
Dear Kai, thank you for your gracious comments. They are held in my truest appreciation. Indeed, the moonflower is mysterious, charming, teasing and pleasing in its scented, seductive nighttime beauty, but beware its poisonous nature, the idea of which was the inspiration for this poem. I'm honored by your response to my poem, so glad you were touched by my verse. Warmest wishes, my poet friend.. ~Susan
Date: 1/24/2025 12:35:00 PM
As usual, your internal rhymes and methaphors are so instantly compelling, Susan, I think my favorite is 'her cat's paw purse for her verse' - I wonder how you do that?
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Susan Ashley
Date: 1/25/2025 7:54:00 AM
Dear Michelle, soulful poetess, it's wonderful to see you! Where have you been? I hope all is well with you and yours :) Glad to receive your visit and beautiful comments. The "cat's paw" line is one of my favorites too. I just love playing with words and obsess over how they sound/relate to others words, imageries and ideas built around them. I re-read and edit my poems many many... many times.. did I say I obsess over words? Lol! Thank you, my dear friend, for your kindness. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 1/17/2025 8:47:00 PM
So beautifully written, Susan. Your poetry is as pretty as that moonflower...well, actually your poetry is prettier :) Fantastic writing as always. Warmest wishes- Charlie
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Susan Ashley
Date: 1/23/2025 10:00:00 AM
Dear Charlie, my poet friend, thank you for your heartwarming words. Your visits are always so appreciated. I'm so glad to know you enjoyed my poem. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 1/13/2025 12:58:00 AM
fatal seduction ~ penned in your inimitable poetic craft, another level! Warmest congratulations on POTD, Susan. Your poem exerts an inexorable hypnotic pull
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Susan Ashley
Date: 1/17/2025 6:35:00 PM
Dear US, I'm both humbled and honored by your beautiful comments. Both your uplifting presence and kind congrats are truly appreciated. Thank you, dear friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 1/12/2025 9:41:00 PM
This is a great joy to read. The clever, descriptive metaphors read a story within a story. It's very enjoyable.
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Susan Ashley
Date: 1/17/2025 6:30:00 PM
Dear Hilda, it's a joy to read your comments. Your gracious visit is appreciated as is your uplifting presence. I'm so glad to know you enjoyed my poem. Warmest wishes my poet friend.. ~Susan
Date: 1/12/2025 11:44:00 AM
fantastical and painful imagery!
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Susan Ashley
Date: 1/17/2025 6:28:00 PM
Dear Kim, thank you for your visit and wonderful comments. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 1/12/2025 8:23:00 AM
what can i say that i haven't already? love this! that last line is the sort of closing line poets dream of coming up with..i like that you've used second person, it can be very effective in a poem...i saw your reply to my comment - yes, we build our poems in the same kind of way; current one i'm working on has gone through approx 15 edits, and i'm still tweaking it lol
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Susan Ashley
Date: 1/12/2025 8:43:00 AM
Dear Charlotte, I embrace that we are both edit obsessed lol! I love that creative process though.. just turning it around and looking at it from all sides, from the inside out, building lines, discarding lines.. the creative possibilities are endless and it takes time and experimentation to whittle it all down.. and I still end up with long-azz poems haha! (got the censor-evasive "azz" from Andrea Dietrich's lim Dumpster Fire Wardrobe" lol.) I'm thrilled that you love this poem. Your uplifting comments inspire me and make my day. Thank you, my soulful poet friend.. ~Susan
Date: 1/11/2025 12:45:00 PM
- A teasing and slightly poisonous ... but succeeds in maintaining the tension needed ... excellently written, Susan :) - hugs
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Susan Ashley
Date: 1/12/2025 8:06:00 AM
Dear Anne-Lise, thank you for your gracious comments. They are held in my truest appreciation. Indeed, the moonflower is teasing and pleasing in its scented, seductive nighttime beauty but beware its poisonous nature. Warmest wishes, my poet friend.. ~Susan
Date: 1/11/2025 12:20:00 PM
This is dark - gosh, it almost hurts... it's deep, with a lot of piercing metaphors. Powerful work.
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Susan Ashley
Date: 1/12/2025 7:52:00 AM
Dear Paige, thank you for your gracious visit and wonderful comments. I was inspired to darkly dramatize the moonflower as a femme fatale because of its beautiful but poisonous nature.. it's easy to fall for her nighttime allure and scented seduction. Thank you for sharing in this piece with me, my dear poet friend, your thoughts are cherished. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 1/11/2025 12:16:00 PM
Femme fatale of the Rhiannon sort? I like Terrell's answer below. We gents possess a measure of self control (we hope). I'll have to pull up an image of a moonflower. You have me intrigued. Awesome poetry Susan
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Susan Ashley
Date: 1/12/2025 8:32:00 AM
Tom and Terrell, indeed, your gentlemanly natures serve you well.. and keep you safe from "moonflower" women lol! Tom, I love the variety and colors of moonflowers.. they're all alluring in both scent and sight.
Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 1/12/2025 8:24:00 AM
Dear Tom, oh, I didn't look that way, but yes, like Nicks' "Rhiannon" she is a free-spirited type who's in complete control of herself, but dangerous to those who try to tame her and possess her nighttime seduction and beauty. I'm glad to have intrigued you, my poet friend. Thank you for your wonderful comments. I am inspired. Warmest wishes.. ~Suze
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Terrell Martin
Date: 1/11/2025 4:39:00 PM
There's a little devil in all of us, Tom - whom we constantly strive to keep at bay. Still, Susan's "Moonflower" is a bombshell of pure beauty. Write on Susan & Tom ~ Terrell
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Tom Woody
Date: 1/11/2025 12:18:00 PM
Ooh I like how the blue ones seem to glow in the center. Very alluring
Date: 1/11/2025 12:11:00 PM
My dear friend Susan, this poem is a potent exploration of obsession, desire, and the dangerous allure of an irresistible, almost mythical woman. Your excellent use of metaphors gives it evocative and sensory imagery.. For me its is a gripping portrayal of the darker side of desire, capturing the tension between attraction and destruction... You have a wonderful way with words..
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Susan Ashley
Date: 1/12/2025 7:43:00 AM
Dear Silent One, my inspiring friend, indeed, this poem was an exploration of obsession, dangerous desire and the deep regret and heartache that follows. The "moonflower" has callous disregard for others as there is never a dwindled supply of suitors who mistakenly think that they are the one that can persuade her to love them. The actual moonflower in a garden is beautiful but poisonous to people and pets.. that was the inspiration for this poem. I'm so glad you enjoyed the poetic drama, my dear friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 1/11/2025 11:13:00 AM
Wow Susan! What a mesmerizing, alluding ride of mystical and sensual intrigue. If I were not a gentleman I would likely be enticed to follow "the mantrap of her parasol pleats." Kudos to you and thanks again for your recent visit. Both you & this poem on now saved in my "Favs." /// Terrell
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Susan Ashley
Date: 1/12/2025 7:37:00 AM
Dear Terrell, thank you for your gracious visit and wonderful comments. The honor of your fav is thrill to receive. I adore moonflowers for their enticing scent and nighttime beauty, but they can be poisonous to people and pets.. which is what inspired the personification of the flower as an alluring, soul-crushing temptress.. and of course I had to dramatize her nonchalant love' em and leave 'em seductive powers to the nth degree lol! Warmest wishes my poet friend.. ~Susan
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