Bastards I Have Met
They come in all shapes and sizes,
some wear badges and some disguises.
Some I remember and some I forget
but here are some bastards I have met…
The dumb bastard (duh, a clueless stupid ignorant bastard)
The sly bastard
The lucky bastard
The greedy bastard
The silly bastard
The cold bastard (perhaps better known as a heartless bastard)
The stubborn bastard
The whinging bastard
The bad bastard
The rat bastard
The lazy bastard (not to be confused with the fat bastard)
The dirty bastard
The ungrateful bastard
The mad bastard
The ruthless bastard
The cocky bastard (much the same as an insufferable bastard)
The cheating bastard
The ugly bastard
The clever bastard
The real bastard
The mean bastard (a less nasty version of the evil bastard)
The two-faced bastard
The lying bastard
The thieving bastard
The old bastard
The total bastard (yep, just a proper complete and utter bastard)
The grumpy bastard
The wild bastard
The bloody bastard
The f-ing bastard
A right bastard (truly delights and revels in his bastardry)
Now I won’t name and shame you
cos I know I can be a bastard too.
But that’s between me and my Maker
and I pray it’s not a deal-breaker!
Written: June 2025
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