Keith D Trestrail Poet Rhyme

Notes About The Poem

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Bastards I Have Met

They come in all shapes and sizes,
some wear badges and some disguises.
Some I remember and some I forget
but here are some bastards I have met…
                               
The dumb bastard (duh, a clueless stupid ignorant bastard)
The sly bastard
The lucky bastard
The greedy bastard
The silly bastard 
The cold bastard (perhaps better known as a heartless bastard)
The stubborn bastard
The whinging bastard
The bad bastard
The rat bastard
The lazy bastard (not to be confused with the fat bastard)
The dirty bastard
The ungrateful bastard
The mad bastard
The ruthless bastard
The cocky bastard (much the same as an insufferable bastard)
The cheating bastard
The ugly bastard
The clever bastard
The real bastard
The mean bastard (a less nasty version of the evil bastard) 
The two-faced bastard
The lying bastard
The thieving bastard
The old bastard
The total bastard (yep, just a proper complete and utter bastard)
The grumpy bastard
The wild bastard
The bloody bastard
The f-ing bastard
A right bastard (truly delights and revels in his bastardry)

Now I won’t name and shame you
cos I know I can be a bastard too.
But that’s between me and my Maker
and I pray it’s not a deal-breaker!


       Written: June 2025

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David Kavanagh July 2, 2025 at 4:21 AM Well you have certainly done a great job in bastardising this poem together Keith, but you forgot the (handsome bastard) possibly the most hated of all bastards, Lol! Cheers David Keith D Trestrail July 2, 2025 at 5:23 AM Agreed. Slippery slope. David Kavanagh July 2, 2025 at 5:15 AM That could be interpreted as a wannabe bastard, we’re getting into dangerous territory here! Keith D Trestrail July 2, 2025 at 5:04 AM I myself would prefer to be an exceptional bastard rather than an average one. If I’m going to do something I like to do it well. David Kavanagh July 2, 2025 at 4:54 AM I’m pretty sure your bastard list is not exhaustive, only an arrogant bastard would ever admit to being a handsome bastard, I’m just your average bastard lol! Keith D Trestrail July 2, 2025 at 4:41 AM So you’re saying I’m a forgetful bastard? Yep, you’re right, I hate those handsome bastards. Cheers to you too…unless you are one.lol

Ink Empress June 26, 2025 at 6:27 AM I dont know why this made me laugh dear keith! Its quite funny. Haha! I like humor like this! I prefer to call them another B word. I know few nice B's and some annoying ones too! Well written and delivered. This was a fun read. I might read it again later. Sending you light always Keith D Trestrail June 26, 2025 at 7:10 PM Glad you liked it. Only a humourless bastard wouldn’t. Lol

Arlo Parker June 17, 2025 at 12:05 PM A lot of folks with questionable parenting heritage. Keith D Trestrail June 17, 2025 at 4:19 PM Yep, but even David was a bastard when he sent Uriah to the front lines to be killed so he would be free to marry Bathsheba. We are all redeemable. Cheers

I Am Anaya June 17, 2025 at 10:23 AM Pray hard, dirty B.......irdy. lol. ty for sharing Keith D Trestrail June 17, 2025 at 4:12 PM My only hope is that there will be bastards in the Kingdom. If not, I’m screwed! Cheers

Keith D Trestrail June 17, 2025 at 3:32 AM Not directed at anybody on the Soup. I think most of us have met a similar bunch of reprobates along the way. Some of my best friends were, and are, bastards. Lol