Notes About The Poem

March 15, 2025

~Third Place ~
Premiere Contest: 2025 Poetry Marathon Mile 13
Sponsor: Mark Toney
 

~ Ninth Place ~
Premiere Contest: Angels
Sponsor: Mystic Rose Rose


 

Angel

In a state of half a dream and half awake
I await   I await you  and anticipate 

tantra trinkets glitter across old crone skies  
scattered stars the litter of our synchronized wishes 
broken symbols of our disenchanted rune  

cosmic poets cursed the lutestring-verse rhymed for us
I’m lost  astray  a pearl loosed from a fractured string
lost in ashes of embers   our fire that fed the sun

will you search a cosmos of starving stars
their shimmer growing dimmer til light withers
will you search a famished universe to find me
a spec of earthly widow-dust settled  stilled

sweet Venus  intercede before dark recedes
listen   a nightingale’s sonnet song rides night air
melody’s flame melts ice-blonde moonbeams
a buttery pool the singer’s smitten spotlight
his rhapsody brims his beloved to swoon
 
oh Venus  let lyric-desire be my angel’s glide path

in a state of half a dream and half awake
sensual soulmate I anticipate 
invite for my griever skin to frost-bite-tingle to thaw
touch me warm  my angel  touch me warm

billow tender breeze through window’s yawn
pale cheeks brushed  lips shushed   a lover’s rush
a rush as light as a silk scarf’s skim on skin
I tremble like a sonata cello string

soft breaths move curtains and swell my sighs 
wind spirit croons my name   I close my eyes

your ethereal presence glides on wind song 
your physical absence abides in our bed
how poetic this dual ache 
throbbing the same passion space 
inside me 
in a state of half a dream and half awake
a pearl astray and unstrung
Copyright © | Year Posted 2025


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Date: 9/6/2025 12:31:00 PM
I think Mark said it best - the dual ache of absence and desire and the intense emotions that result. My fave part is stanza five line two, the gap you perfectly placed inviting us to stop and listen. Very clever. Congrats on placement
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Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 9/7/2025 9:04:00 AM
Dear Tom, you are perceptive as always to pick up on that pause, I'm glad to know that was your fave part. Thank you for sharing your esteemed thoughts with me and for your kind congrats. Your uplifting poetic presence is treasured. Warmest wishes, my dear poet friend.. ~Suze
Date: 9/4/2025 11:45:00 PM
Just stop it, Susan, stop being so perfect as a poet, a poet who would have gained fam and recognition had she lived in an earlier century, but not too far back. So - stop before I take my pen and go home with my poems between my legs. Just stop making me feel unworthy of even standing in your poem's collective shadow. So, stop, stop, stop reading me and never ever think to ever stop your pen. I hate you in the best possible way. May I have a poetry hug? CayCay
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Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 9/7/2025 8:56:00 AM
Dearest CayCay, of course, big poetry hugs for you always! I adore the twist-of-wit and creative spirit of your comments. They're as beautifully and poetically written as your brilliant poetry is composed. Thank you for the humor and the humbling, heartwarming smiles your words bring to me. I treasure your poetic thoughts, both in the comments box and on your revered poetry pages. You are truly a gem, my dear poetry friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan P.S. don't ever take your pen and go home with my poems between my legs", I and the PS community would miss you and your gifted pen way too much
Woody Avatar
Tom Woody
Date: 9/6/2025 12:28:00 PM
Haha
Date: 9/4/2025 4:02:00 PM
Congratulations Susan. Continued blessings of favor. Janis
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Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 9/7/2025 8:46:00 AM
Dear Janis, thank you for your kind congrats. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 9/3/2025 2:16:00 PM
Susan, I love your latticework of metaphors that poignantly portray the “dual ache” of absence and desire. Congratulations on your third place win on Mile 13 of my 2025 Poetry Marathon Contest. Keep your running shoes on, because Mile 14 has already started.
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Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 9/7/2025 8:49:00 AM
Dear Mark, I'm so glad to know you enjoyed my poem. Thank you for your lovely comments and kind congrats. I'm honored for my poem's placement in your highly regarded and competitive contest. Your contest is a wonderful showcase for participating poets. Warmest wishes... ~Susan
Date: 3/19/2025 11:35:00 AM
It's amazing how a simple 'angel' prompt is capable of eliciting from you this beautiful offering, dear Susan. I haven't had the pleasure of reading many of your poems lately, but I can assure you that you have lost none of your poetic touch, especially technical richness (it would take up all the available space to laud the use of metaphor, alliteration, personification, movement, description, a strong appeal to emotion and senses, etc.) ~ Warm regards & Hugs my friend..keep flying!! // paul
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Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 3/30/2025 10:12:00 AM
Dear Paul, I revel in the delight of your visit! It's wonderful to see you and to receive your inspiring comments. I'm thrilled to know you enjoyed my poem! Thank you for sharing in the emotions and imagery of this piece. Your precious thoughts have the power to lift me to fly beyond the clouds :) Always in gratitude to you, for your kindness, encouragement and for the gift of your beautiful poetry. I hope all is well with you, my wonderful poet friend. Warmest wishes and hugs.. ~Susan
Date: 3/17/2025 11:32:00 AM
My Dearest Rhyme Time Friend, once again I am in awe of your poetic ability to make words fly into realms of inspiration - "lost astray like a pearl loosed from a fractured string - "sharing the same space/inside a pearl!" Your opening lines are just brilliant! And your ability to create beauty by pairing words into stunning images leaves me breathless, sweet poetry sis. Your writing is simply amazing and we are blessed by it. Congratulations on your win! Sending you strings of blessings like shimmering pearls!
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Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 3/30/2025 10:19:00 AM
My Dearest Rhyme Time Friend, it's truly wonderful to see you and to receive your heartwarming words! Your presence here has been sorely missed, by myself, and by your legion of fans at PS :) Thank you for sharing in the emotions and imagery of this poem with me. Your beautiful thoughts and kind congrats are treasured, my sweet poetry sis. Warmest wishes sent on rays of Venus light.. ~Susan
Date: 3/17/2025 4:13:00 AM
Thank you for joining my contest. It isn't easy writing about Angels. You all took it to a new level of consciousness for me. Each entry dove me closer to the thought that Angels exist. You are all winners in my book, grateful for all your efforts. May God bless your beautiful hearts, each and every one of you Love, Mystic
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Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 3/22/2025 10:22:00 AM
Dear Mystic Rose, thank you for my poem's placement in your wonderful contest. I enjoyed writing for your "angel" prompt. Your lovely comments are truly appreciated as was your contest sponsorship. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 3/16/2025 8:29:00 AM
A fascinating poem. The metaphors are remarkable.
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Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 3/16/2025 8:44:00 AM
Dear Hilda, I'm thrilled to receive your lovely comments. Thank you for your wonderful visit, my poet friend. I find the wind to be inspiring. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Date: 3/15/2025 4:51:00 PM
There are many poetic lines in this poem, each one melts the heart in throbbing rhythm, each one dances on the imagined image of love. A very creative take Susan, dear friend, dear poet...Frederic
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Ashley Avatar
Susan Ashley
Date: 3/16/2025 8:27:00 AM
Frederic, dear friend, dear poet, I relish your beautiful and poetic response to my poem. Not sure if this is what Mystic Rose is looking for but this is what the contest prompt brought our from me. Thank you for sharing in the romance and imagination of this piece with me. As always, it's such a joy when your presence graces my poem's page. Warmest wishes dear friend, dear poet.. ~Susan
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