The Meteoric Event
To put things into perspective; the sun was already rising with us in our natural orbit, bright, mostly yellow orange, coming up in style over the horizon, reflecting a blinding light on the calm seas surface, as we stood on the boardwalk, holding on for dear life to the iron guard rails, placed there for our protection against sudden or errant falls into the sand several feet below us. From our vantage point the sand was precariously placed there by nature, for the original intent of bringing us joy and something to play in. Leave it to the local government to find fault with something as simple as sand. They viewed it as a hazard, a lawsuit waiting to happen, so they set up barriers all along the boardwalk perimeter preventing us from harming ourselves.
The sun was already in full form on a perfectly ordinary cloudless day, however, unlike the sun, there was a new unknown object in the sky. It was a pure white dazzling bright light about the size of a dime, that is, if our sun is seen as the size of a silver dollar coin in stark naked contrast or comparison. This new object was running parallel with our sun just slightly on a diagonal curve above it, well off to the right in clear visibility from our vantage point and there for our viewing pleasure.
Our little band of five merry men decided to skip school today to take in this phenomenal occurrence in history. We all set ourselves to get up early as if we were planning a fishing expedition. This meteoric event was way more significant in every way. Frank was the first to speak on the subject. Frank is a hot dog. He is the only member of our group who truly wasted the first seventeen years of his life in doing not much of anything and a whole lot of nothing.
His claim to fame is breathing. Apparently he was gifted enough brain cells at birth to help him with that functionality. His development as a human being is practically null and void. Pin cushions serve a more noble purpose and they don't even have a pulse.
You would think that being exposed to a parochial education, having solid friends like us and having wealthy parents would influence him in a positive way. He is not all that bad though. He did buy us all coffee and donuts this morning for breakfast so maybe God did give him a purpose on this Earth above and beyond breathing.
His observations are as follows; “You know guys, I heard on the news that this comet or asteroid thing might hit Australia.” “That is on the other side of the world way far away from us here in New Jersey.” My friend James, a more scholarly individual in our crew responded, “The thing, as you call it is a mile long and a mile high, moving at 30,000 mph.” “An asteroid that big traveling at that speed has the energy roughly equivalent to a one million megaton bomb.”
“If it strikes anywhere on the planet it is going to be more than just a simple ripple of waves felt on a tiny pond.” “If the tsunami mountain of water does not destroy us, the impact will clearly evaporate all the kangaroos down under and take New Jersey with it without so much as a smile good'bye.”
Frank continued; “But the scientists are smart.” “They can tell us everything in great detail about the object.” “For that reason alone we will be safe.” “We will be protected.” “You don't think that the government and all those NASA smart guys would let us die?” “They need our tax dollars so they will figure it out with all their sophisticated science stuff.”
We all looked at him sadly and told him that we would all be dead soon so it does not matter. He was more concerned about the teachers giving us detention for being a no show than realizing the end of the world and the end of everything was at hand.
Throughout history, religion served as a useful tool at times like these. Most people who ever lived had and continue to have a difficult time simply surviving. Religion and God offer people, generally speaking, a better way out or at least a different way out from the absurdity of life when life sucks.
My friends and I were experiencing what might be the last enjoyable meal and a beautiful sunrise of our short pathetic existences. What better place could there be than the seashore on a sunny morning when your life is about to end? We discussed how we felt being cheated by life because we have to die young. We have no control over our fate. We didn't even have the chance to get laid or to get drunk and do all the other adult fun stuff. Life does suck.
Right before our eyes the peculiar glowing object in the sky grew larger and turned red. We were mesmerized by its beauty and power. No one spoke a word or made a sound. We were frozen in the moment observing history unfold and come to an end.
While we were hanging onto the rails, literally clinging to life itself, thinking what might be our last thoughts on Earth, something strange happened. A hooded man, a hooded hobo to be exact, came running at us from the south end of the boardwalk with a bow and arrow in hand. He would run, then stop to take aim at us and then shoot a bunch of arrows in our direction. As he came closer he seemed to be running faster. He repeated the process several times until he was almost on top of us. This bizarre behavior from this peculiar man caught us all by surprise.
By chance, one of the projectiles hit Frank in his left ear, piercing it and causing the boy to scream out in pain. It was not one of those thick tipped metal V-shaped hunting arrows, which would have definitely severed his ear. It was a narrow bullet shaped head, the cheap ones that kids use for target practice. Frank was not interested in the minutia of the thing. He was bleeding profusely and running for his life. For once in his life he had a good idea. We all followed behind him, jumping over the guard rail onto the sand, scrambling over the beach and down the shoreline like a bunch of lunatic gazelles in heat.
This temporary distraction, though life threatening, gave us a short reprieve from the pending doom and gave us something else to think about. The facts are; there are five of us and only one of him. As a general rule, bums are not all that ambitious or athletic. We, on the other hand are very athletic and our fear turned into anger as we made our escape. James yellowed out, “Hey girls!” “Slow down.” “Are you going to let a drunk and bum scare you away like the sissies that you are?”
We stopped, looked behind us and evaluated the situation. It was obvious the crazy guy was slowing down. He stopped and instead of reloading to shoot, he became hunched over and began to pant. He was clearly winded. More importantly, he was out of arrows. We picked up on that clue in an instance. Even injured Frank could see that the winds of change were blowing in our favor. We decided to leave one of our classmates, Mike, to take care of our ear pierced friend while we took care of business, as we charged full speed and full force after our adversary.
By the time we got to the bum he was already in a submissive stance and trembling in fear. It was clear he had been drinking by his staggering and slurred speech. We decided not to beat him up. We are not those kinds of animals and uncivilized wild beasts. It would be a waste of time to turn him over to the authorities. What purpose would it serve with the world coming to an end?
The three of us were interested as to why the man attacked us in the first place. What was his motivation? We pressed him for information.
It turns out there was no reason. The bum had been wondering around in a sporting and hobbies store late last night. He stole the bow and arrow and ran from the store in hopes of selling the weapon for something important to drink.
James took the bow from the man and sent him on his way with a reprimand. “We don't want to see you around here again!” We all laughed at the comment.
When we returned to Mike and Frank we all sat in a circle and pretended things were normal. Frank was in need of medical attention. The mundane world seems to always win out even in the face of catastrophe. We did our best to find a doctor to treat our friend.
In reflection on the nature of things; science can tell us details about the composition and mineral content of the asteroid. It can predict the exact date, time and place of the impact. It can forecast speed, distance, odd anomalies, other variables, changes in velocities and tell us the exact time of our demise. How nice is that?
I wonder if Mary from my science class is wearing a dress or blue jeans today? I should get back to school after we take care of this medical emergency. I wonder if it is too late to see my secret love and tell her as much....
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