The day the world stopped
THE DAY THE WORLD STOOD STILL
I was not going to put this ont poetry soup but a lot of time has passed. I think it belongs here now.
In about July of 1980 Dad had a stroke. I was working grave and just got home from work when Arlene called to let me know what what happening. I did not like it one bit that mom was alone and had to depend on dad's friend to take her around. I tried to get a leave of absence from my employer they refused so I quit. I stored some stuff with a friend and the next morning I headed to California. I got there about 3 am I knew it was going to be late so I asked her to leave the door open for me. When I got there the door was locked. Mom said she wanted to be up when I got there. I was there for about 5 months. I took her anywhere she wanted to go. Anytime she wanted to go. I don't know how many times we went to the hospital to see dad. We went to Mark and Henriette's wedding. And we went to the Christmas party at Arlene and Gail's. Every Sunday morning when I got up mom would have the TV going. She was listening to hymns. Mom and I were not very good but we sang along anyway. There was one hymn I especially like called “Blessed Assurance” It was by Fanny Crosby. After the music was over I went to church. I asked mom to come with me but she refused. Early Jan. 1981 dad finally came home. I left the next day to go back to Oregon and start my life over. If I had known the future I would never have left, but only God knows the future.
I was living in Kaiser Oregon at the time. Kaiser is a little city just north of Salem Oregon. I had a small apartment, I didn't have a phone. I went to the local payphone to call out. The manager was a good friend of mine who is willing to accept calls for me, to take messages or come and get me.
Sunday, February 1, 1982
I got a call from my little sister Karen. It was a kind of call nobody wants to get. She told me our mother was in the hospital and was dying from pancreatic cancer. Karen said she probably would only live a couple more days. Karen said that her and my sister Linda would be driving down from Portland the next afternoon. And since they didn't know where I lived they would pick me up at a restaurant just off the freeway.
Monday February 2
I was there early. My friend, the manager gave me a ride over there. I waited around for about 30 or 40 min. they never showed up. I got tired of waiting so I hid my suitcase in some nearby shrubbery and walked back home. By the time I got there my sister called the manager asking where I was. So I got another friend to take me back to the restaurant. I got there as they were finishing their meal. We got in the car and headed south. We drove all night. Karen and Linda were taking turns driving. I wondered why they didn't asked me to drive. I finally figured it out. It was Linda's car. Linda's husband didn't like me very much and there was no way he would ever let me drive one of his cars.
Tuesday February 3
We got to Redlands in the early part of the afternoon. We stopped at a service station and used the restrooms to clean up a little bit before going to the hospital. When we got to the hospital we found out where mom's room was and went in to see her. Karen went up to the head of the bed, I stayed by the foot of the bed, Linda stayed near the door. We heard mom's last word right after we got there. She said “KAREN”. Karen told me later that she had a new hairstyle and mom was only one that recognized her.
Later we were in the waiting room talking. Rev. Foerster walked in. Rev. Foerster was our pastor when we were growing up in the Lutheran Church. He was an old friend of mom's. He went in to see mom and came out a few minutes later. He told us she didn't have much time left. A little bit later we decided that mom should not be left alone anymore, someone should be with her for the rest of the time she has left. I volunteered to be the first one. I went down the Linda's car and got my Bible and then went in the room and sat with my mom. My four sisters Sandy, Arlene, Linda, and Karen went down to get something to eat. I sat there and read my Bible and prayed. About 30 min. later my dad walked in. I said my sisters are down eating, I will go get them, you stay here until we get back. He agreed. So I went down and found them and told them dad was there. They were just finishing eating. The diner was closing down. It was Sandy I think that went and ask them if there was anything left. She said her brother was hungry and hadn't eaten all day. She came out a few minutes later with something, I don't remember what it was. I was hungry enough I would eat anything. After I was done we went back up to where my mom was.
A little bit later the doctor came. He told us all to leave the room so he could give mom a check up. When he came out he told us mom was dead. He said we could all go in and say goodbye she would be there a little bit longer. Sandy and dad walked in first, I was right behind them. I stayed by the foot of the bed. After a couple minutes I had to leave it was just too much for me. I went to the pay phone and call Pastor Foerster. The pastor was in a meeting. I talked to his daughter Barbara. She said she would let him know. Almost as soon as I hung up the phone dad came out of the room. He was more upset than I've ever seen him. He kept saying “Someone take me home, please! someone take me home.” I walked up to him I said “I'll take you dad.” He said “How when you get back?” I said “I'll walk.” He agreed, we walked down to the parking lot, down to his car and I drove him home.
When we got there I parked in front of his friend's apartment where he told me to. I gave him the keys. When we got out his friend came out of the house to help him. I just took off walking back to the hospital. It was about 2 miles. I used to do a lot of walking so it didn't bother me. That gave me time to think about all that was happening.
When I got back to the hospital my sister Cathy and her husband Richard were there, and my brother Mark and his wife Henriette were there. I always thought it was pretty amazing the night my mom died seven of her eight kids were in the hospital with her. We hugged and cried for a while. Then we decided it was time to leave. Cathy and Richard went home. The rest of us went to my moms mobile home and crashed. Mark and Henriette took the bedroom. My 4 sisters slept on two sofas in the front room and I slept on a recliner in the TV room. After everybody settled down Karen got up and called her boyfriend Paul and filled him in on everything that happened.
Wednesday February 4
Dad got to moms house early in the morning. He and my four sisters went to the mortuary to set everything up for my mother's funeral. I didn't want to go, I said I would stay there and watch the phone. When they got back, like all Nelsons. My sisters started cooking. They even got me to help. Sandy told me I had to do something so I did.
I heard later Cathy tried and tried to get hold of my brother Gary. Gary was down in Daytona getting ready for a race. Gary's secretary would not tell Cathy how to get hold of him or given him any messages. I don't know how she did it, but she finally got through to him. He said he could be there Saturday for the funeral. So we planned everything for Saturday.
Mark and Henriette went home that morning. Scott drove up. So that night Scott and I slept in the bedroom and my sisters slept again in the front room.
Thursday February 5
I love my family but I needed a little space. So I called my friend Bill, who I have known since seventh grade. I asked him if I could spend the night with him. He said okay. That evening when dad went home he dropped me off at Bill,s. Bill took good care of me. It was nice being with him for a little while. I slept on the sofa. The next morning my dad came to pick me up as he was heading back to Yuciapa.
Friday February 6
NASCAR had some of their pilots fly Gary and Barbara into Norton AFB. The base is closed down now and it is a private airport. Then rented a car and slept in a motel that night.
Saturday February 7
Early Saturday morning Gary and Barbara drove to mom's house. It was sure good to see them. We all hugged and cried some more.
My mom had a friend named Ruth. Ruth did not drive so I offered to pick her up and take her to the funeral. I borrowed my dad's car. I went to pick her up. When I picked her up we got back in the car to leave and the car would not start. It took about 15 min. before I finally got it started again. Thinking about that car now. I think something got too hot and shorted out. When it cools down it started. Dad asked Gail to change one of the battery cables because he thought that was it. I never heard what happened after that. Ruth and I were the last ones to arrive at the funeral. I remember the funeral director was not very happy with the delay. I think there were about 12 or 15 friends of moms there, and probably 30 or 40 relatives. Pastor Foerster officiated at the funeral.
After the funeral we were talking and Sandy said “She was a good mommy.” I think that is one of the best descriptions I have ever heard of mom. She lived her whole life through her kids. She never got tired of saying how proud she was of us. I like that song “The wind beneath my wings” by Jeff Silbar and Larry Henley, mom was definitely the wind beneath our wings. She was always there for us and always pushing us to do we needed to do. We didn't have much, but mom always made sure there was plenty of love.
Afterwords Sandy drove me down to Long Beach to see Cathy's new apartment. They lived in that apartment about 30 years. The building was sold and They were told they had to move. So for well over a year. They went from one motel to another because there were limits to how long they could stay. I think all that stress from all the motel rooms was one of the things that brought on Cathy's death.
I was just remembering something else. After mom died we didn't know what to do with her remains because no one had any money to buy a cemetery plot. Cathy finally figured it out. Dad was in the Army in World War II. Because of that he has a plot to be buried in. Cathy found out that if we had mom cremated we could put her in dad's plot. So that's what we did. Arlene found out what it cost for cremation and told all of us when our share would be. I didn't have quite enough money so I just gave her everything I had. She accepted it. I don't know how my moms ashes got to the Riverside Cemetery. That's where they are now.
Years later my dad got married again. He got married on the Colorado River. There were both supposed to be cremated when they died and there ashes put in the Colorado River. Edna died first and her kids would not allow it. They took her ashes up to Washington state and buried her there. dad said he did not want his ashes in the Colorado River without Edna. So when he died he was cremated and put it in his military plot next to my mom.
When I die I would like to be put in that same Riverside Cemetery. I am a veteran and I have a plot there too, or, if it works out better and no one has any objections. You could put my ashes in the same plot that mom and dad are in.
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