Passion in a crime
i feel emasculated...
like im less than a man...still i stick out my chest, & i masquerade it
amidst the affidavits, & court appearances
back against the wall so i forfeit my innocense...
two counts murder one for my actions
took the life of my wife in a crime of passion
and the mothafucka she embraced, legs draped around his waist
i was taken to a place the average man could never fathom...
...so i stabbed'em, a feverish frenzy
struck'em in the heart, lung, liver, & kidney
cant believe this is in me, spoke the eyes of my wife
i put the blade of my knife across her wind pipe then swiped...
...what a night, i mask the memory
cant relax living in a super max facility
seen this lame grillin' me, standing nude in the shower
so i took the opprotunity to prove i aint a coward
made him feel my power, stuck him in the neck with a shank and he died within the hour,
was it foolish, or a means to an end
being careened in a pen, can turn a man into an animal...
...understandable, the warden
due to prior convictions, ordered me put down
my outlook now, wreaks of depression
seeking concession, from my fate, death by leathal injection
fequent supression, of anger filled raged & alotta tears
burdened by thoughts of hopelessness as i recall the years
first was worst, took a toll on my soul
being enclosed in the hole, the isolation rearranged me...
...it changed me, made me bitter
too much time spent reflecting on what made me kill her
so off kilter i blacked out...
C.O. eyed me so i lashed out...& bit a chunk out his face
i still remember the taste, as i recall the scene...
the blood how it streamed & MY GOD how he screamed
almost felt like a dream cause no one rushed me...
they were afraid to touch me, then from behind someone snuffed me
abruptly, now its 23 hours caged in
12 years total in isolation, next comes retribution
state set a date for my execution
the weight of this resolution taxes
im feeling like Atlas, yet my persona fake as a catfish
appearing to the masses, as cold & stone faced
though bursting inside cause i know Hell's my lone fate
rounding third for home plate, hoping to score peace
cause my life exists for just one more week
so i choose to ignore sleep, temptation of flesh
think abstaining is best
...no more suffering, an end to sorrow
cause this Hell that im stuck in, it ends tomorrow..or does it ?
i ate nothing but a salad topped with vinaigrette
for my last meal, then finished it with a cigarette...
while other killers slept, i watched the sun rise
gazed at its raise in a daze until crunch time
here comes the drumline, beating on my cell
as im lead out, mothafuckas in the hole bid fairwell
i could hear one yell out , "see you on the other side"
i chuckled at the thought of us discussing troubled timmes
next i come inside this room with a window
some seated on the other side were my wife's kinfolk
this one man had on a neck brace with a halo
i was unchained, then laid down on a table
the guards strapped me down using leather & velcro
an IV was placed in my arm by my elbow
the warden then got on the intercom to address
the reasons & manner to which i'd be put to rest
said they would inject, a three chemical mixture
then broke down the inner workings of this elixer
one was a relaxant, the next was a sedative
the last would stop my heart from beating repetitive
i looked at my wife's relatives, then i heard
the warden ask if i had any last words
a feeling of peace & calm gripped my mind
so i recited the words to Psalm 69
my wife's brother stood up, apparently disgusted
secods later, i was rudely interrupted
the warden cut me off before i finished my last
so i screamed over his voice, "this too shall pass"
then i gasped for air, as i felt the drugs kicking in
the calm i had became replaced with adrenaline
my right arm is trembling, now im getting sleepy
my eyes are mad heavy & im shallowly breathing
unsure of what would greet me, i closed my eyes
when i opened them again, i froze surprised
that i wasn't in prison, i was in a train station
sitting on a wood bench observing the patrons
people going places, all ages all races
oddly, i couldn't make out any of their faces
out of the blue, i felt a hand on my shoulder
turned to see my wife not looking a day older
i stood up, hugged her, & then apologized
she smiled, touched my cheek, then said "you have honest eyes"
she forgave me for the homocide, i forgave her cheating
walked hand in hand and laughed about our greeting
stopped at a platform, but something felt strange
as she kissed my lips then said "this is your train"
as the doors opened, my eyes started to tear
turned to say goodbye but my wife had disappeared
then i noticed the train's doors emitted a light
and it's glare somehow made me revisit my life
i was brought back to good situations & pain
i replayed all the joy & everything i disdained
as i boarded the train, i already knew where i was headin'
time of death, 11:11
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