Inheritor and Unwilling Helper
A man with his son was ready to legitimately claim the money in the then dormant account of his late wife. A full one year since his deceased wife journeyed to Heaven or - still possible – Hell but grandly leaving behind Half-a-Million Naira in her account. The man was then striving to close the account, for that purpose serving The Opportunity Bank with the Letter of Administration she has specified. However, one last hurdle was left for The Widower. A banking protocol which her Transfer Section had not mentioned. The Widower must find a Current Account Holder with The Bank to fill and endorse an Indemnity Form, which she issued to individuals wishing to close their relations’ accounts. The procedure provided The Opportunity Bank with a means to recover the money, if it be confirmed afterwards that he had lied to The Bank and fraudulently collected another depositor’s money!
“Oh! God of Abraham!” moaned Widower Abraham, “No end to what Next of Kin must do to be able to retrieve his relation’s money!”
In the end, at home, Abraham and his last child and son, Alexander, saw the need to bend to The Opportunity Bank’s Directive. First, they half-combed their neighborhood for A Touched Current Account Holder with The Opportunity Bank, then fully combed it, when their first effort yielded nothing. Later, they realized, after stage two of their hunt had also turned a ruse that they would have to skirt round sister neighborhoods… And this they did staking all the pains…
At long last, through a family friend, they got a business man, who could painlessly do it for them. A magical promise they got from him on the phone, soon after his line was dialed and he answered it, picked the message and understood what the matter was,
“Trust me, this is no problem at all,” the man had said, singing it like a song and beautifully remembering to add “for those who believe that a friend of one’s friend is also one’s friend!”
On the subject of when it would be convenient for him to fill and endorse the space now belonging to him in the Indemnity Form, he sought to know from his Silas friend intermediary between him and The Widower whether he Silas had plans to wipe his phone number off his memory or off his phone number diary.
“No… No! Of course not,” Silas easily replied, already smelling Success from the chat.
“Very simple, then, “continued his Help-Volunteering Friend Bruno “You just get across to me a call, whenever your friend is ready… And I shall be ready, too!”
“Oh! Exactly what I’d prayed for! A functional Hospital’s functional Ambulance,” Silas said to finish off on a humorous note. But it was a purposed and lingered silence that followed this effort of Silas. A silence that can have meant Bruno’s unspoken wish to discontinue their conversation, so that he might attend to his business matters and Silas had to abort the call but not before scrambling together “A Hurried Thanks! and Goodbye” with “Hear from us, soonest!”
Turning to Widower Abraham, the still-thrilled, still-celebratory Silas disclosed to him that his now volunteering helper, Bruno, was the type who abhorred unnecessary movement of the human lips and had to his credit a successful tradition of doing ‘big things’ after saying ‘very little!
Widower Abraham could not stop battling with excitement. Barely could he keep his thrills under check, even purring a favored cat’s Mi-aow’ followed by Hii Huu-h! Several times, he heaved sighs of relief, also trying a thankful look at Gracious God far above the ceiling of Silas’ house.
“So, when will it be convenient for him to endorse the forms for us?” The Widower at last pressed politely from Silas.
“Oh! Any time you wish” came Silas’ reply, truly looking a family friend, “Although, I imagine, you’ll have to exclude Sundays and their hours,” Silas promptly wove in.
Monday arrived and The Grateful Widower was at Mr. Bruno’s shop but he himself was not within reach. Widower Abraham was only able to meet his apprentice and from him learnt that he had just left for a skipped morning bath.
“And when do you think he might be back here?” pressed Disappointed Abraham.
“Naturally, anytime he’s done with it, “replied Bruno’s Apprentice, who did not forget to assure him of its likely-to-be-soon!
Thus, Abraham with his indulgent son, Alexander, waited for Bruno. Minutes flew to beget a half-hour, a full One, Two and later Three… You know that sort of thing. Inexorably, father and son went home but first leaving word that they would repeat their visit the following day being Tuesday.
Tuesday surfaced and Widower Abraham could only again bump into The Man’s Apprentice, who this time claimed that his master had gone to seek fuel for his car at a far-off filling station.
“And did he say anything about when he would be back from the search?” The widower asked in a defeated voice.
“Yeah… Yeah. The words he used were ‘Anytime in the afternoon with or without success of his mission.”
“Oh! Really?” cooed Abraham with pretended cheerfulness. He was weakly rooted to a corner of his host’s shop, in every sense of the world reduced to his Helpless Waiter. But all these were to no avail, as the subject of his visit remained unreachable.
Pitilessly, Wednesday duplicated the experience for him. And so did Thursday and Friday. Frustrated, Abraham loosened his tongue against his host, every fresh minute presenting him with the opportunity to let by- standers know that Bruno had evilly disappointed him.
But to the man’s son, Alexander, his father’s now chosen drama was becoming intolerable! He would not share his father’s opinion that their elusive host was a fraudster and expressly told him so.
“What!” grunted his father, Abraham. “Then, Mr. Bruno is a God-fearing Gentleman!”
“I’ve yet to say so,” Son Alexander duly corrected and continued, “ I rather think it goes a little to his side that he had not exactly mentioned either 9:00am, 10:00am or 2:00pm for the signing… Just Anytime: as good as No Time.”
“And as bad my son,” Widower Abraham threw in but with a temper fairly under check, his voice that of a proponent of the Tireless Truth in The Proverb.
Really, it was tempting to believe that Mr. Bruno probably felt that Abraham must have been faking Next of kin to a late depositor once with their Opportunity Bank and he had better not risk being guarantor of a likely-to-be-repaid Half-a-Million Naira while he still had the opportunity.
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