Dear Signore Direttore,
Now I am a-tella you a story wot I was a-treated at your hotella.
I am a-comma from Roma as tourist to London an stay as a-younga cristan man at your hotella.
When I comma in my room I see there is no shit in my bed - how can I sleep whit no shit i my bed? So I calla down to the receptione and tella: 'I wanta shit'. They tella me: 'Go to toilet'. I say: 'No,no I wanta shit in my bed'. They say: 'You better not shit in your bed, you sonna-wa-bitch'. What is sonna-wa-bitch?
I go down for breakfast into restorante. I order bacon and egga and two pissis of toast. I getta only one piss of toast. I tella waitress, and point at toast: 'I wanta piss'. She tella me: 'Go to toilet'. I say: 'I wata piss on my plate'. She then say to me: 'You'd bloody not piss on the plate, you sonna-wa-bitch'.
That is the second person who do not even know me calla me 'sonna-wa-bitch', an why is your staff replying 'Go to toilet', is that a modern tella? I do no understand, Please tella me!
Later I go for dinner in your restorante. Spoon and knife is laid out, but no fock. I tella waitress: 'I wanta fock'. And she tella me: 'Sure, everyone wanta fock'. I say: 'No,no you dont understanda me, I wanta fock on the table'. She tella me: So you sonna-wa-bitch wanta fock on the table? Get your ass out of here!
How comma this cristian hotel tella the guest in such bad manner?
So I go to receptioneand ask for bill, I no wanta stay in this hotel no more. When I have paid the a-billa the portier say to me: 'Thank you and piss on you'. I say: 'Piss on you too, you sonna-wa-bitch, I go back to Italy'.
Direttore, I never gonna stay in your hotella no more, you sonna-wa-bitch.
Sincerely
Dicci Elgre
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Natalie: Hello, David. I mean sir. Oh, shit, I can't believe I just did that. Oh and now I've gone and said 'shit' - twice. Prime Minister: Well, you could've said 'fuck', and then we all would have been in trouble. Natalie: Oh thank you sir. I had an awful premonition that I was going to fuck up my first day. Oh piss-it.
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The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off.
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Posterity will never survey a nobler grave than this: here lie the bones of Castlereagh: stop, traveler, and piss.
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The multitude will hardly believe the excessive force of education, and in the difference of modesty between men and women, ascribe that to nature, which is altogether owing to early instruction: Miss is scarce three years old, but she's spoke to every day to hide her leg, and rebuked in good earnest if she shows it; whilst little Master at the same age is bid to take up his coats, and piss like a man.
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Here I stand and hesitate Should I piss or masturbate
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All employees: Please piss on your hands before returning to work; the water here is filthy.
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Most legislators are so dumb that they couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were printed on the heel.
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When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, pee in it, and serve it to the people that piss you off.
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The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.
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If this magazine was on fire, I wouldn't even piss on it.
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Whenever I die it's going to piss me off.
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I'd rather have a dog over a guy because the worst a dog can do is piss in your shoe.
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When I wake up in the morning, I piss excellence.
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Don't piss in your pants just to check if your fly is open.
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The last of humans freedom is to choose ones attitude in any given set of circumstances and be able to piss of the latter.
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Never piss into the wind
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