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Grocery Store Quotations

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I hate turkeys. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad a turkeys. There's turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastromi,.Some one needs to tell the turkey, man, just be yourself.

+Fav | Go to Quote / Comment | Mitch Hedberg |

It's like any divorce. If you see your ex-wife at the grocery store, either she's going to throw a bunch of eggs at you, or you're going to have a genuinely enjoyable conversation. To be able to see those guys and laugh with them and reminisce a little bit was good for my soul.

+Fav | Go to Quote / Comment | Matt Doherty |