Untitled
The anticipation
The gratification
To watch the blood flow back
It must be self control I lack
I can feel the relief
No matter how brief
My security blanket
With it I never have to fake it
The warm fuzzy feeling
Leaves me reeling
For more
Will I ever be able to close the door?
To say goodbye
Or is that just a lie
Reality I can not deny
Because there has been so many times that I did try
Believing that I would die
Not afraid of death
A wish I once had
Able to live in the pain
The pain going to make everything okay
Each time only myself I betray
No explanation
Only devastation
Then realization
Self destruction I know well
Walked through the depths of hell
What a story to tell
They say time heals all
But I'm still waiting
Anticipating
Always hesitating
Frustrating
Then devastating
Brings me to my knees
Has me begging please
God help me
Put a period where I had a question mark
Justifiable resentments that's what they say I have
Something's only God can forgive
The past is where I live
My heart broken
Words never spoken
3am screams
Waking from dreams
Tortured and bound
Screaming without making a sound
Peace no where around
Im up off my knees
No more begging please
Walk with my head held high
The odds I must defy
Copyright © Jennifer Cunningham | Year Posted 2018
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