Scared of the Nights
Scared of the nights
Posted by SONAMCHHABRA
I am scared of the nights
Not because I am afraid of the demons that lurk in the dark
But because I am afraid of the thoughts that take control over my head, when I lie on the bed
But because I am afraid of the monsters inside me, they would not let me be
But because I am afraid of those emotions that would creep in, and before I know, it begins
I am scared of the nights
Because now I am alone and all my insecurities are heightened, all this makes me frightened
Because now I can hear my heartbeats racing, from left to right and from right to left I keep on pacing
Because now the episode would start where I would wander in the past, and later I would realise one hour it did last
I am scared of the nights
Because those things I kept diverging from all day, those memories and those contemplations I kept at bay
They would come for me and haunt me, to tell me they are still with me and that they are here to stay
Because whenever I tell them to leave me alone, I tell them that I refuse to accept them and the seeds that they have sown
They would come back in no time as if they never left me, but this time hitting me harder as i broke into tears cause inside I groan
I am scared of the nights
Because I don’t want to fall into the darkness inside, but there are forces that gnaw at my soul like a deadly parasite
Because I don’t want the crevices of the walls in my mind, to crack open and let those fears flow into the grind
Because I don’t want to stare at the ceiling in the dark, trying to solve queries and looking for answers that would still have a question mark
I am scared of the nights
Because I am scared of what will happen next, of what is to come and what would be its effects
Because I am scared to take a leap of faith, to hope and believe in the time that awaits
Because I am scared to accept what is real, i deny it with my extraneous logics as I fear the dread I would feel
Because I am scared of the day tomorrow, if I would function the way I have to holding back my sorrow
I am scared of the nights
Because I don’t want to be scared anymore
Because I want to doze peacefully and snore
Because I want to wake up pristine next morning
And bask in the light as I open the door
Because I want to make it through without disguising
But indeed smiling, and that’s what I wish for
Copyright © Sonam Chhabra | Year Posted 2017
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