84 Degrees and Sunny
Sunglasses shield my eyes so I don’t have to look directly at the sun
Which is the most beautiful thing
All I want to see is beauty but I put a barrier in between
My room shields my body from the sun
It gives you cancer anyway
But when I am inside, it feels smaller and hotter than ever
And I feel more confused and scared than ever
Why do I feel this when all I should feel is excitement and gratefulness?
I should be out in the sun
Yet here I am
Again
Feeling talentless, feeling pathetic, feeling sick
What makes me happy? I don’t know
All I know is I want to feel the way I used to about people
I want to feel love and excitement for them
I want to get butterflies and look at someone like they are unobtainable but I haven’t for years
I want things to just fall into place and make sense
They seem to for everyone else
In my mind happiness looks like me dancing around a giant open room with a reggae band playing
I’d just spin around in circles with my friends
and no one else is there and no one else is watching me or judging me
I don't even dance
I guess that’s why people live inside their own head.
Copyright © Leah Marley | Year Posted 2017
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