Attempt
Was she in your bed when you were dreaming about me last night?
Does she know that when you say you love her, they are vacant words?
Can she tell that you’re thinking of me when you wake up and wishing it was me next to you instead?
Your silences are excruciating, still I am helpless.
Constant reminders are everywhere. You smile as it gets more painful.
You profess your love to me, yet you stay with her.
You like your pain, and probably enjoy mine even more.
You refuse to be happy.
You are terrified to even attempt it.
The distance is your excuse, but you realize you are grateful.
You insist I know nothing about you, but you know even less about me.
And you’re so predictable. I know your answer to every question I ask.
We have endless conversations that only get us right back at the beginning.
You say you miss me, then hang up and go back to her.
Her and I see each other in our sleep.
She thinks I am just a nightmare, while I am forced to know she is real.
You know it’s not right. I know you can’t change.
But neither can I.
I have been waiting for years,
And I continue to wait….
Copyright © Sarah Mcclung | Year Posted 2005
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