I Could Not Do It Before
I Could Not Do It Before
By Dr. Tina Medina
I could not do it before
I dare not shut the door
My heart yearned for something more
I loved you to the core
Even though I did not keep score
It was obvious who loved who more
Yet what for?
Yet what for?
It may be time to shut the door
The door to my heart is what we are talking about
It can’t be bought with finances, prestige, and clout
The key was always within me
You thought it was yours at any liberty
But you do not define me
I was once blind about you, but now I can see
Today I awoke and something was anew
I did not even have a clue
Yet I knew there was something I had to do
I had to shut the door
For a promise of so much more
There was a proposal to me on a silver platter
Shut the door, the time is latter
You, my daughter deserves so much more
Do not let him treat you bad as I promise to settle up the score
All because I want you to have more
Do not make the mistake
He is not a piece of cake
If you dare to move forward in motion to me
Do you think I will not answer your plea?
I have seen the way he has treated you
There is no excuse, you are not a person in lieu
One day, a revelation of you will ensue
Yet you may not want him to pursue
His love is not strong as glue
I simply thought you knew
The past is the past
Yet the negative emotional roller coaster still last
Why is he always moving so fast?
He is quick to throw you into an emotional cast
All at your expense to see how long will this last
It is to your advantage to let him go
You can’t stay with him emotionally low
You woke up today
Because I had something to say
The message was for you and there was no delay
Push him away because all he wants to do is play
Letting go of our problems of the past
only means you value yourself first, no longer last
I loved him more
Yet somebody upstairs was keeping tight score
The verdict is in
There is no more time for a conversational spin
Your smooth words no longer affect me
I just gained a prophetic victory
I was blind about your ways, but now I can see
My love was not for sale
But it has rare weight on the trust and loyalty scale
I am not looking for any male
My words can make you pale
The truth is that you made my heart ail
True emotions expressed will never fail
I just read your damn mail
Year after year, I could not shut the door
But in 2017, God says there is something more
Oh my God, there is something more if I dare shut the door
Why could I not do it before?
Why could I not shut the door?
What was I waiting for?
The time is now as my career is ready to soar
For many years I loved you, and it simply did not matter
Your lost in the game of lots of women, scoring, running, and scatter
What happens to you in the latter?
My love, my compassion and my integrity is in tact
I can no longer be lost in your comedy act
Oh, that’s a fact
I dare not to be a part of your tactical plan
The one in which you think I really need a man
The one in which I am a pawn in your game of chess
I am so sorry, I am out of this emotional mess
The plan in which you think I would do anything for you
The plan that allows you freedom to do what you do
The plan that hurt me and my integrity
Because it is just not part of me
As I long for truth and liberty
Have you ever loved someone that brought you so much inner pain?
It’s not you at all, it is all his inner heart strain!
You loved at a level that he caused you to be emotionally drained
Something is wrong with this picture, its out of frame
Or maybe he just lost at his own game
He took your love and used it like fuel
All to boost himself up to act really cool
Today, your plan was dismantled by heaven above
All because of some serious love
I am a Daughter of the King
I bear His signet ring
I do not need your imitation bling
I have to stop myself and sing
Being free from potential death is a beautiful thing
I was told if I shut this door, a new life awaits me
God finally has heard my plea
A deal is on the table
I can only pursue it if I am able
This is no fairy tale or fable
A new life, one that I have wanted for and dreamed about
It has nothing to do with money or clout
It is all about the writing and the poetry in motion
It’s all about the words and not the Southern gentlemen’s sly potion
You, my former love are obsessed with material things and objects of high value
Yet they are not the essence of you
The riches of our heart are not based on the type of cars we drive
What really matters is that you are spiritually alive
My God says there is something more
So I have to shut this door
I have to be strong now because there is more
I have to shut this door
I am sorry to let you go, but what if there is really something more?
All I have is a promise from the King
A new version of my life, a very precious thing
I would rather take it than staying in the dark and the spiritual strife
I really need more precious life
I do not like the omission of truth that you can cut like a knife
The door is shut now
I really do not know how
It happened so fast, there was no time to react
The most important thing is that I never lost track
It happened today
That is all I have to say
It happened today
You can go back and play
Copyright © Tina Medina | Year Posted 2017
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