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Dig Deeper

You told me to "dig deeper",
I told you "I couldn't".
You said "thats the only way to know yourself"
So I admitted I couldn't.

You said "it would help"
And I replied with "i'm scared".
You assured me I would be ok,
But how do I say it was me I feared?

You told me "The difficulties of ourselves help us realize our beauty", 
And I said I agree,
But are the scars in my veins still considered pretty,
Especially in our present standard of beauty? 

"Dig Deeper" you repeated.
And so defeated 
I retreated into my subconscious,
To try and understand your logic. 

I tried to bypass all the obvious
To look away from the given and find the hidden.
So, of course, I dug deeper into oblivion.

Which, I should say, I found to be in complete paradox to my fear of the unknown. 

Yes, I fear the unknown. Amongst other things,
Like the emptiness that ignorance brings.
Because for me ignorance is no bliss.

But like you asked I dug deeper.
Despite my fear of what I would find
And how scared I was of what was hiding in my mind.

Yet pushing that aside I began mining in my gold mine.
Then out of no where I struck gold.
And everything began to unfold.

I became a phoenix in my subliminal.
So graceful, I felt almost Invincible. 
It was almost comical.
Why couldn't I be this renewed in the physical?

So are you happy?
Did I complete the task?
I mean I think I did what you asked,
But then again what you asked was an almost impossible task.
Yet I dug deeper and uncovered what was under my mask.

Copyright © Lizzy Omolaja | Year Posted 2017

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Book: Reflection on the Important Things