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Birth Bell

You loved me in your womb 
I was company to you, right there with you
immersed in your toxic chemicals
engaged in your highs and lows     

I felt your stress these past 7 months
my brain is so distorted  
sometimes I don’t know the difference 
between amniotic fluid and nicotine
I think you inhale one and smoke the other  

It’s 2 am and I hear the baby birth bell
It’s calling me, but I am not ready 
I don’t think I have enough testosterone
to save myself in turbulent times

The carelessness of your birth canal makes me anxious
it expands and contracts with no direction or purpose
                 like I am on a roller coaster
                        going too fast and 
                                   I am just hanging on
                                        to a life in the fast lane

The doctor says I am a survivor
The nurses admire my broad shoulders

Aunt Kate says she will look after me
because I remind her of you

Copyright © Renee Robbins | Year Posted 2015

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Book: Reflection on the Important Things