The Price of a Hug
I don't know if you realize it or not,
but, as we have discussed previously,
the connection between us,
is rooted in what Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
put in our hearts,
and in contact.
Subsequent to my previous
attempts to communicate
with you on this subject,
I have noticed a pattern.
Every other week
I am banished
from your inner circle.
Literally.
Every other week.
I don't know if you realize it or not,
but this creates a pain
that goes to the inner core of my being.
And it is so unnecessary.
The key to peace,
harmony and happiness between us,
was, is, and will always be
contact.
You have so often said
that I am a part of you.
Can you tell me then,
that you do not feel a loss
for each day that passes
wherein you find yourself
purposefully stopping short
of reaching out to me?
How do you think
this makes me feel?
I have adapted myself to many things,
but the thing that I find no solace for
is the loss of your touch.
Please tell me,
What is the price of a hug?
Is it really something you cannot afford?
I do my best to stay out of your way
when you are working on something;
I do my best to not make myself
an annoyance to you.
I wait patiently for you -
having proven repeatedly
that all you have to do is call for
...or reach out to me...
...and I am there...
So imagine my confusion and frustration
the pain that seers through my heart
when you leave me for days on end
without a single touch.
Wallahi you don't even know
the tears I have cried
longing for and missing you.
If I am being punished,
at least tell me what for
...I can't fix what I don't know...
Tonight you suddenly cared
if we prayed or ate together
wallahi...that made me feel
like a battery operated toy
that can be turned on
and off again at whim.
It's not like that
...I am hurting inside...
and I have silently suffered
without any explanation as to why
you cannot even find yourself
...able to touch me.
I told you how I had missed you
and how I had been crying,
sentiments that seem to have fallen
on deaf ears
...or so it has seemed...
because here I quietly sit...
...alone with my shattered heart...
asking myself,
"What is the price of a hug?"
Copyright © Aishah Schwartz | Year Posted 2006
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