Hole In My Heart
Poem
I sit there silently as the sadness builds up in my eyes
My body won’t stop shaking, while on the inside I die
So much self-hatred; now the crying will start
Why does it feel like there’s a hole in my heart?
Why can’t I control it; the pain I feel within?
Why can’t I accept the person living in my skin?
Why do I feel like a burden to everyone I know?
I feel like they would be better off if I were just to go
I can see it in his eyes when he looks at me
It’s like the love he felt is gone and a problem is all he sees
I want him to look at me the way he did at the start
That look that said you’re everything, you’ll always hold my heart
Why can’t I be happy? Why do I let the voices win?
The voices that tell me that only fear disappointment and lies live within my skin
They tell me that there is no point in fighting; that I’ve already lost this war
And nobody could ever love a fat, depressive whore
I know I’m hard to be around because I keep living in the past
By now I should have realised that nothing good is built to last
I used to be pretty with long hair and skinny which was enough to make me smile
Because I believe as long as I can be beautiful people might stay for a while
But now I just do drugs and drink to try and fill the hole
To try and fill the emptiness that I feel within my soul
Why does it feel like pain is constantly tearing me apart
Why does it feel like there is a hole in my heart?
Copyright © Caty Rose | Year Posted 2021
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