Soliloquy
I am alone filled with the pain of love. My mind replays every moment with you as
bittersweet words echo in my ears. My chest tightens, and my throat narrows. I choke
back the tears and can barely breathe. I cry, but find no relief. Why must I suffer so
for loving you?
The days are long and deliberate and they conspire with my soul and heart to keep me
captive to you. I cannot break free from the net that you cast upon me. I curse you,
but find myself whispering your name, begging to be near you. I hear your laughter and
smell the sweetness of your fragrance. Each thought punishing me physically and
emotionally. My mind no longer my trusted friend.
I tremble. The pain within so deep it hurts beyond description. I cannot control it.
Overcoming me at will and muting my desire to exist. Do you not know that I love you?
No, it is a feeling much deeper than that. Words cannot fully explain it and few
understand it. A love as deep and meaningful as the love a mother has for her child. As
unexplainable as the homage the punishing waves pay upon the shore. Or when you looked
at me and I could feel your love. How could you walk away? How could you hurt me so?
Each day I struggle to find the strength to begin anew. To find the strength to pluck
you from my heart. But each day I fail. Despite the pain, I cannot resent you and I
cannot forget you. You are woven into my being and I can never stop loving you. Won’t
you look upon me once again, if only for a second?
Cvhs 05
Copyright © Carmelo Huertas | Year Posted 2005
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