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Soliloquy

I am alone filled with the pain of love. My mind replays every moment with you as 
bittersweet words echo in my ears.  My chest tightens, and my throat narrows.  I choke 
back the tears and can barely breathe.  I cry, but find no relief.  Why must I suffer so 
for loving you?  

The days are long and deliberate and they conspire with my soul and heart to keep me 
captive to you.  I cannot break free from the net that you cast upon me.   I curse you, 
but find myself whispering your name, begging to be near you.  I hear your laughter and 
smell the sweetness of your fragrance.  Each thought punishing me physically and 
emotionally.  My mind no longer my trusted friend.  

I tremble.  The pain within so deep it hurts beyond description.  I cannot control it.  
Overcoming me at will and muting my desire to exist.  Do you not know that I love you?  
No, it is a feeling much deeper than that.   Words cannot fully explain it and few 
understand it.  A love as deep and meaningful as the love a mother has for her child.  As 
unexplainable as the homage the punishing waves pay upon the shore.  Or when you looked 
at me and I could feel your love.  How could you walk away?   How could you hurt me so?  

Each day I struggle to find the strength to begin anew.   To find the strength to pluck 
you from my heart.  But each day I fail. Despite the pain, I cannot resent you and I 
cannot forget you.  You are woven into my being and I can never stop loving you.  Won’t 
you look upon me once again, if only for a second? 

  Cvhs 05

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