Soliloquy

I am alone filled with the pain of love. My mind replays every moment with you as bittersweet words echo in my ears. My chest tightens, and my throat narrows. I choke back the tears and can barely breathe. I cry, but find no relief. Why must I suffer so for loving you? The days are long and deliberate and they conspire with my soul and heart to keep me captive to you. I cannot break free from the net that you cast upon me. I curse you, but find myself whispering your name, begging to be near you. I hear your laughter and smell the sweetness of your fragrance. Each thought punishing me physically and emotionally. My mind no longer my trusted friend. I tremble. The pain within so deep it hurts beyond description. I cannot control it. Overcoming me at will and muting my desire to exist. Do you not know that I love you? No, it is a feeling much deeper than that. Words cannot fully explain it and few understand it. A love as deep and meaningful as the love a mother has for her child. As unexplainable as the homage the punishing waves pay upon the shore. Or when you looked at me and I could feel your love. How could you walk away? How could you hurt me so? Each day I struggle to find the strength to begin anew. To find the strength to pluck you from my heart. But each day I fail. Despite the pain, I cannot resent you and I cannot forget you. You are woven into my being and I can never stop loving you. Won’t you look upon me once again, if only for a second? Cvhs 05