A Ship Lost in the Sea
I feel like a ship lost in the open sea in the middle of a storm crashing side to side as I try and navigate the choppy waters of life.
All alone being pulled and tossed side to side between everyone else’s emotions other than mine.
I am trying to find calm land to lay my head in peace and relax and enjoy myself then another wave crashes against my boat throwing me off my balance.
I fight hard to control my ship.
During my voyage I have lightened my load and lost many things on this journey.
I am fighting, I am always fighting. Within the waves and me crashing over my bow.
Some days the waters are calm and the sun shines down in comfort and these are the days that I love. To sit in peace and feel the warmth on my flesh.
I say I do not need anything but this little ship that I am on, and I truly feel that I mean it.
My ship with very few rations has sustained me for over five years.
I seem to have some sort of fortune that I am provided for when the time is needed. I try not to worry about my future.
I have a crew that I feel I am responsible for, and I do my best to care for them all. I feel they want me as their leader but then again it is only on their terms - And the storm rises again, and my ship is off balance.
But this is a crew that I cannot simply let go of. This is a great commitment that I have taken upon.
Sometimes I want to go down to the hull of my ship in retreat and be alone with myself and drink wine and be within myself. But if I do the crew begins to revolt and not knowingly cause my ship to go further off balance in a fight against the storm.
I need my crew. I also see their needs, but do they see mine? I feel myself withdrawing but my ship is important to me. I will never jump ship. I just wish that my crew would understand and learn to work better for themselves and together and let me guide the ship through the storms.
I have full belief that the storms will eventually pass but, in the meantime, I must continue to steer forward and keep my ship afloat. I know my land of promise is out there in the distance of the great seas.
I will go down fighting with my ship.
Copyright © Paul Garcia | Year Posted 2024
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