Fractured Existence
Sometimes, I forget that I’m human,
That I have flesh beneath this skin,
That I have a heart that can still break,
A name that belongs to me,
A body that moves, even if it does so without purpose,
Like a hollow shell carrying nothing but silence.
I walk through my days like they’re just shadows.
I don’t touch them, they don’t touch me.
Just drifting in and out of spaces, distant, a stranger to myself.
A vessel that only breathes because it’s too stubborn to stop.
I don’t feel dead,
But I don’t feel alive either.
I’m just here,
Unaware,
Untouched,
Floating through time with no anchor to hold me.
Then, pain comes in.
It doesn’t knock.
It kicks down the door and fills the room with its weight.
And just like that, I’m reminded of my existence.
It rips through me like it’s been waiting for its moment.
Pulling memories from the corners of my mind, and shoving them back into my chest.
Each one sharp as broken glass, pressing into my lungs until I can’t breathe without tasting the past.
I remember everything.
The way I love,
The way I lost,
The way I cried when no one was looking.
I remember the ache in my heart when I thought I couldn’t bear it,
How it never really left, just faded in the background. Waiting for the right moment to remind me that I’m still here.
And suddenly,
I’m alive again.
Not because of the memories,
But because of the pain.
Because it reminds me that I can still feel,
That I am still capable of something,
Even if it’s only the hurt.
Copyright © Rosetta Bailey | Year Posted 2025
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