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FEAR

I wish I was still scared of the monsters under my bed, 
I wish my biggest fear was still giant sharp teeth, 
And I wish I still needed a night light to help me sleep.
I'm still scared of the dark that hasn't changed.
I used to be scared that I wasn't alone but now I I'm completely aware that I am and it's suffocating.
There's so much air to much empty space I'm choking on it,
Choking on something I can't cough up.
Don't get me wrong I still need the fear but I miss when it was innocent.
The fear is better than the sight of my blood,
I've fallen in love but it's not with a person it never will be,
It's with the feeling of fear that's always with me.
Always clawing, always biting, always with a loaded gun I don't know who it's aimed at.
Fear does not have its innocence, it dies for me.
Died to protect me or maybe to kill me,
But I hope one day she finds it again.

Copyright © Eve Heintzelman | Year Posted 2025

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Book: Reflection on the Important Things