Goodbye Marie
When i think of my girlhood,
It is quiet. My memories hazy
digital snapshots.
Silence filled rooms, which
I tried to color with my thoughts
Only they were unwanted
Never went out. Never had a date.
I stuffed anna karenina and others in my backpack
I wanted to feel the words in real life though.
Stickers on my composition notebooks
Like i did every year,
popping gum
Sloppy mirror kisses, gossip circles at lunch
Red blossoms, report cards, brown paper sacks,
Ripe new buds, womanhood on the cusp.
Remembering everything. Details, i clung to.
When everything meant everything
Especially when he said hi to me in the hallway.
Home it is quiet. Desires of flower fields
And tall trees keep me up at night,
Its the Pain of not knowing
and seething in secrecy.
It was not an innocent time,
Scribbles in journals show
It's a miracle I am alive.
Copyright © Roxanne Holder | Year Posted 2023
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