Goodbye Marie

When i think of my girlhood, It is quiet. My memories hazy digital snapshots. Silence filled rooms, which I tried to color with my thoughts Only they were unwanted Never went out. Never had a date. I stuffed anna karenina and others in my backpack I wanted to feel the words in real life though. Stickers on my composition notebooks Like i did every year, popping gum Sloppy mirror kisses, gossip circles at lunch Red blossoms, report cards, brown paper sacks, Ripe new buds, womanhood on the cusp. Remembering everything. Details, i clung to. When everything meant everything Especially when he said hi to me in the hallway. Home it is quiet. Desires of flower fields And tall trees keep me up at night, Its the Pain of not knowing and seething in secrecy. It was not an innocent time, Scribbles in journals show It's a miracle I am alive.