Feelings
FEELINGS
Here it all goes again
the heavy pressure building upon my brain
unpause my sad songs once again
And scream inside to release my pain
Gasping for breath whilst questioning death
but all you here is silence because I have to hide
As you only understand an argument from one side
I’m here questioning why I’m still fighting
Asking why you’re life gets to be so exciting
you make me feel sick inside
after all you’ve done and you still take pride
I guess I was hoping you’d leave me be after you’ve taken so much
but it’s to late, the only feeling left is my touch
You’ve taken everything worth smiling about
and all I can do is wait it out
you’ve changed my want for a relationship
because if everyone’s like you I think I’ll skip
I never thought my childhood would be this bad
As I sat on the sofa close to my dad
Living with a narcissist was never what I expected
As I played with my dolls, not aware an unaffected
I always try my best
Whilst keeping my emotions suppressed
the anger I wish I could show you
For everything you’re putting me through
the rage I want to let out
for making me hide and live in doubt
the happiness I have to disguise
for its been removed from my insides
the hatred i want to expose
for all the times you’ve yelled and I’ve just froze
the hopelessness and worry I need to reveal
For all the time I’ll spend trying to heal
and the disgust and fear you gave for free
for not letting me be me
the worst part for me is
it’s not our house, it’s his
It’s never going to end
Its her money only he can expend
It’s the crushing feeling on my throat
the love he claims to devote
It’s to making up and getting away with everything
It’s the laughing I hear while I’m above crying
It’s the fact you will never see
How truly mean your fiancé can be
Copyright © Jess Rees | Year Posted 2021
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