Feelings

FEELINGS Here it all goes again the heavy pressure building upon my brain unpause my sad songs once again And scream inside to release my pain Gasping for breath whilst questioning death but all you here is silence because I have to hide As you only understand an argument from one side I’m here questioning why I’m still fighting Asking why you’re life gets to be so exciting you make me feel sick inside after all you’ve done and you still take pride I guess I was hoping you’d leave me be after you’ve taken so much but it’s to late, the only feeling left is my touch You’ve taken everything worth smiling about and all I can do is wait it out you’ve changed my want for a relationship because if everyone’s like you I think I’ll skip I never thought my childhood would be this bad As I sat on the sofa close to my dad Living with a narcissist was never what I expected As I played with my dolls, not aware an unaffected I always try my best Whilst keeping my emotions suppressed the anger I wish I could show you For everything you’re putting me through the rage I want to let out for making me hide and live in doubt the happiness I have to disguise for its been removed from my insides the hatred i want to expose for all the times you’ve yelled and I’ve just froze the hopelessness and worry I need to reveal For all the time I’ll spend trying to heal and the disgust and fear you gave for free for not letting me be me the worst part for me is it’s not our house, it’s his It’s never going to end Its her money only he can expend It’s the crushing feeling on my throat the love he claims to devote It’s to making up and getting away with everything It’s the laughing I hear while I’m above crying It’s the fact you will never see How truly mean your fiancé can be