MY TOOTH
Crunch, crunch say my teeth as they devour,
That freshly baked warm crusty cob made from flour
Oh bother say I, that does not feel right,
As my tongue explores the cause of my plight
That silly grin staring back at me,
Showing a space where a tooth should be
Oh bother! says I, where has it gone?
It must have become part of my luncheon
Next morning my ablutions are examined closely,
As I search for that missing gem of ivory
Oh joy, for there in that brown sticky mound,
My tooth like a pearl glints up from the ground
Must give it a clean, as to the sink I race,
Intent on completing this task apace
With faucet turned on and tooth between finger and thumb,
With nail brush I proceed to scrub that tooth aplomb
Oh bother!! says I as from my grasp it slips,
And into that torrent of water it whips
Going round and around inside that bowl,
Nearer and nearer to its centre plug hole
Oh bother!!! says I as it disappears from sight,
And I curse myself and everything else in my plight
Beneath the bowl its pipe-work curves up and down and around with glee,
Could my tooth still be trapped within this menagerie
Oh joy, an inspection plug I spy,
Waiting for me to unscrew and I try
It's stuck! of course it's stuck!!
Just what else would you expect with all of my luck
Let the dog see the rabbit I say to myself,
As on my back I shuffle beneath, bumping my head on its shelf
Between finger and thumb I grip that plug,
Oh joy, it moves I say with a pleasing shrug
Oh bother!!! says I as eagerly,
A torrent of water gushes out all over me
There in this pool I spy a glint of white,
Hurray, I shout as I see a way out of my plight
Into my denture it loosely fits perfectly,
But how to secure it in place still remains a mystery
Of course, Super Glue, what else could I use,
As to my work-box and instructions I do peruse
On both tooth and denture that clear crystal liquid is applied,
Before it's returned to my mouth leaving nothing to hide
Bite hard! to hold that tooth in its row,
And wait for the glue to set, but for how long I don't know
The minutes pass, that should be long enough,
As to the mirror I now do rush
Lips part and I smile rather gingerly,
Oh joy, as a gleaming row of pearly whites now smile back at me
OH BOTHER!!!! grunt I through teeth glued firmly together,
With top and bottom stuck tight I am all in a tether
Let this be a warning to all from me,
Stick with those soft white slices for your tea
Copyright © John Dawson | Year Posted 2024
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