MY TOOTH

Crunch, crunch say my teeth as they devour, That freshly baked warm crusty cob made from flour Oh bother say I, that does not feel right, As my tongue explores the cause of my plight That silly grin staring back at me, Showing a space where a tooth should be Oh bother! says I, where has it gone? It must have become part of my luncheon Next morning my ablutions are examined closely, As I search for that missing gem of ivory Oh joy, for there in that brown sticky mound, My tooth like a pearl glints up from the ground Must give it a clean, as to the sink I race, Intent on completing this task apace With faucet turned on and tooth between finger and thumb, With nail brush I proceed to scrub that tooth aplomb Oh bother!! says I as from my grasp it slips, And into that torrent of water it whips Going round and around inside that bowl, Nearer and nearer to its centre plug hole Oh bother!!! says I as it disappears from sight, And I curse myself and everything else in my plight Beneath the bowl its pipe-work curves up and down and around with glee, Could my tooth still be trapped within this menagerie Oh joy, an inspection plug I spy, Waiting for me to unscrew and I try It's stuck! of course it's stuck!! Just what else would you expect with all of my luck Let the dog see the rabbit I say to myself, As on my back I shuffle beneath, bumping my head on its shelf Between finger and thumb I grip that plug, Oh joy, it moves I say with a pleasing shrug Oh bother!!! says I as eagerly, A torrent of water gushes out all over me There in this pool I spy a glint of white, Hurray, I shout as I see a way out of my plight Into my denture it loosely fits perfectly, But how to secure it in place still remains a mystery Of course, Super Glue, what else could I use, As to my work-box and instructions I do peruse On both tooth and denture that clear crystal liquid is applied, Before it's returned to my mouth leaving nothing to hide Bite hard! to hold that tooth in its row, And wait for the glue to set, but for how long I don't know The minutes pass, that should be long enough, As to the mirror I now do rush Lips part and I smile rather gingerly, Oh joy, as a gleaming row of pearly whites now smile back at me OH BOTHER!!!! grunt I through teeth glued firmly together, With top and bottom stuck tight I am all in a tether Let this be a warning to all from me, Stick with those soft white slices for your tea