An Emo Teen
If you could read my thoughts,
I'd sound like an emo teen
But with a better grasp
of the English language
Despite the tiredness within
I remind myself
That I can't be finished
My responsibility
Is no less diminished
To those I love and they who love me
I swore an oath.
To them, to myself, to the sky.
To keep moving
To keep on keeping
To keep breathing
To stop spiraling
To keep trying
To keep going
Without dying
To love life
To deal with its strife
To remember
The little ember I carry
That makes me empowered.
But the ups and never stop
My emotions are mere drops
In the endless sea of apathy
And maybe if I try to be
Miserable at all times
They might finally cease
In the love they have for me
Freeing me of my duty
Relieving me of this responsibility
And i carry this thought around
It's hard to kill a dream
I think of them
One
Last
Time.
Yet I know inside this cannot be fine.
Despairing as I might be
Their love has not left yet
And it relentlessly haunts me.
So with shaking hands,
Bloodshot eyes and dripping nose
All the while shivering,
To myself I propose
That I keep on going
To remain strong
All the while knowing
Its time to seek
The help I need so desperately
Steeling myself to do this alone.
Dialing the number on the phone
Crying as I talk,
I apologize for taking their time
Ask if they might please come
To find me
All the while they assure
I was right to call 911
And staring out this locked window now
I debate with myself on the topic of how
It got to this… point.
Copyright © Auden Marrin | Year Posted 2020
|