Life Control
I’m worried and anxious and angry,
But I’ll never show it.
I’m scared lonely and insecure,
But I’ll never show it.
I’m depressed hateful and sinful,
But I’ll never show it.
Instead I’ll just pour icy water over my head
To cool the coil, to extinguish the flame,
Fuse no more. Flame, here is your leave!
I will stay awake all my days and extinguish this fuse;
I will never let it blow, never let me show myself.
That is weak, and I am strong, so hold myself together
I must.
But I can’t
Nonsense, I can, of course!
Nonsense of course.
Nonsense?
I guess I’m just insane;
A double minded and double faced loon
Who can’t live his life.
I am molded and built,
Designed and determined,
Criticized and controlled,
By everyone, save myself!
Save myself.
Myself
Save
So I shall!
I hold myself,
I am myself,
I’ll die myself,
I’ll live myself—
In any order.
I have decided,
I will take my life
And build a life for me
Using my own life as a tool to build a new one.
Hmm, this is all stupid.
Life here life there,
Life’s determined by the life and what it wants to do or be.
It’s never been determined by another life,
Some lives like to be liked, so
They determine themselves to be liked and so,
To be liked they become a slave to the wants and desires of other lives;
For their approval and admiration.
Copyright © Dusky Vivoich | Year Posted 2019
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