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Pete Pat Poem
I fake it for those around me.
They shouldn't be bothered with my pain.
I'm quiet.
I'm compliant.
I'm fake.
How naive they must be to truly think me happy.
Can't they see I'm barely living?
Alone I feel nothing.
With them, I feel only hatred.
But they wouldn't understand.
Would they even try?
Do they care for me?
The real me?
When I'm unaltered by their forced cheer
Who am I?
Do I know when I'm really feeling?
Or is it all a facade?
Maybe I'm just numb.
A vile creature void of emotion.
Am I even real?
Pure, unbridled joy.
The one thing I can be sure of.
Smiling.
Laughing.
Caring.
Loving.
With you.
The one time I can be sure of the answer.
Am I real?
Yes.
Copyright © Pete Pat | Year Posted 2017
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Pete Pat Poem
I do not know
will someone tell me
what is this in my heart
Do I feel it ll or nothing at all
In your arms nothing can touch me
the whole world disappears and I'm a kid again
Running from monsters in the night
I pull the covers tight and the monsters aren't real
I'm not ready to let go
hold me or I'll fall
Like riding a bike with my dad holding on
I bury my face in a pillow after a nightmare
and the blanket surrounds me
chasing my demons away
your hands fall and I'm alone again
but, dear, now you've let out a lion
I will face the world and conquer
and always come back to you
like a child at a playground who falls and cries for his mom
but why was I crying
It doesn't matter anymore because I lost the soccer game
and you called me the winner
soon enough I can't remember the score
because in your arms nothing can touch me.
Copyright © Pete Pat | Year Posted 2017
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Pete Pat Poem
An array of acknowledgements loom from my wall,
A constant reminder of who I could have been
Two for excelling in reading
But that was a lifetime ago
I can barely understand a text
Two for writing, but as I scratch this out,
My hand shakes and the pencil crashes down
Three for learning French
But now I struggle to speak in my own tongue,
Today I couldn't string together the sound of my name
The arts awards shoot me through the heart and knock me to my knees
I can't hold a brush
I can't remember my lines
I don't know the notes
I don't have the energy
I can't
I don't
The medals flicker blindingly in my drooping eyes
Once a champion, forever an embarrassing has-been
Flashing devastating news through a failing mind
One more hit
One more fall
One more mistake
Means the end
No last story
No curtain call
No final fight
My heart and soul sucked away as I lay
Sedated and bleeding, begging and pleading for my life
I want to push through
I need to hold on
I can't just give up
But what do I have to reach for?
It took my heart
Took my soul
Took my life
What can I do?
Your face floats through and I extend a trembling hand
I can do this
I'll finish my story
The show must go on
The final fight
Copyright © Pete Pat | Year Posted 2019
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Pete Pat Poem
It tugs at my face when I see you
But leaves with you.
You unlock that door.
While I can't find the key.
And in penetrates the perpetual numb.
Long enough to give me life.
You put the smile on me.
Copyright © Pete Pat | Year Posted 2017
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Pete Pat Poem
She gives and recieves without a thought
Her eyes are as soft as her voice.
She knows the ins and outs of every song
And sings only to God.
His compassion is endless and unconditional.
A tear in every smile, but a sparkle within each frown
The world is on his shoulders
But he feels it beneath his toes
He can't see the light, but he knows it's there.
He makes promises they only hope he keeps.
His tunnel is pitch black
But he trusts in the hand he clings to.
Her eyes flit suspiciously as dread tugs at her heart.
She stares blankly willing it not to be there when she sleeps.
They say one set of footprints means God carried you through hard times.
Her life will be a single track.
Copyright © Pete Pat | Year Posted 2018
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Pete Pat Poem
I’m their perfect angel
Never trouble
Always quiet
Lost in thought
Mundane caring a thing of the past
I would die for you
Has lost its meaning
I wanna be an angel looking down
Scars gone and memories silent tears
Darling you’ll be fine
I loved you too much
There was none left for me
Count the stars
They’re times you saved me
But just like stars
Im not forever
You don’t know
Until im gone
Carry on my dear
I hope not to see you soon
Remember but let me go
Lose me and find me
Never the same
The one who could have been
Anything I wanted
Except happy
I want to be an angel looking down
Scars are gone, memories silent tears
I’d die for you means nothing
For you,
I live
Copyright © Pete Pat | Year Posted 2017
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Pete Pat Poem
There is a beat bouncing through her brain that she can’t help but step to
Her soul is overflowing with melodies; they long to be sung
She hears a song and stops to listen as pitches and rhythms are mapped out before her eyes
Her heart pounds to a metronome
Cold fingers fly, creating heat and light
She glances once at a page, then closes her eyes and lets her hands take over
Independent from her gentle body, they leap furiously around the instrument, as sound soars
Mesmerizing colours dance outwards, fading into bare walls
Ink on paper, black and white
Now, a vibrant array, filling the dark room with light and hope
The last note rings, echoing through her head
As it dissipates, the only noise is the tick-tick-tick
In perfect unison with a soft boom, boom, boom
They are shots of black and white
Spraying and blending into all sorts of grey
A rainbow, sketched by a dull pencil and not yet completed with sharp, bright crayons
She is suddenly aware of distant keys plunking,
Drawing her out of a world of perfect harmonies, and into one that is dismally dissonant
As she ventures out, the beat pounds through her, and the melody continues to flow through her veins.
Copyright © Pete Pat | Year Posted 2018
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Pete Pat Poem
Inside is grey.
Outside's a blur.
I'm in an invisible whirlwind,
an immortal, invincible whirlwind.
And nothing calms the storm but you.
Everything just passes by.
I can't feel anything but hate.
And I love nothing but you.
When I'm with you,
The clouds part
just for a moment.
But it's enough for me.
And I know nothing but you.
Copyright © Pete Pat | Year Posted 2017
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