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Addison Johnson Poem
The burning flame devouring anything that stands in its way
Is a creature that haunts me through night and through day.
I used to be afraid that this monster would get me.
It comes anywhere, it comes when it may.
I used to do all I could to keep the flame out.
I closed my door, unplugged my lamp, but I really doubt
There is anything I could have done if this creature had really come.
My only defense would be a shout.
The flame would take everything I own.
It would leave me emotionless, all alone.
I would have no one to help me, to guide me.
I would be out into the unknown; my entire life being regrown.
I was afraid of this flame; it would always haunt me as I tried to sleep.
I would think of what it could do to me, and I would weep.
I dream of the day when I know for sure
That this flame will not haunt me if through the walls it does creep.
Copyright © Addison Johnson | Year Posted 2017
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Addison Johnson Poem
She is a MONSTER.
She attacks me with her viscous words.
Makes sure I know I am unwanted.
She hides under a pretty face, and attacks when you least expect it.
She is a MONSTER.
She is wicked.
Making her whispers just loud enough for me to hear.
Jealous when I have something that she can't have.
She makes sure I cannot be happy.
She is wicked.
She is a MONSTER.
She is cruel.
Pitting everyone against me.
Making me afraid to see what she will have in store for m each day.
She makes sure that everyone knows her truth about me.
Making sure I know that I am useless.
She is cruel.
She is a MONSTER.
I AM A MONSTER.
I do what I can to keep my MONSTER from coming out.
I keep it trapped inside the cage that is me.
But sometimes, the stress gets too great, and my MONSTER claws out.
My MONSTER tears me down, and tears down the people I care about.
My MONSTER ruins me.
I AM A MONSTER.
But I am one of the luckier ones.
Through the years, I have learned to control my MONSTER.
I have gotten stronger, braver, able to face these MONSTERS head on.
Each time these MONSTERS attack me, I break a little more.
One day, even though I try to block it out, these MONSTERS will break me down so much, that I will shatter.
One day, I will be shattered into so many pieces that one day, I will not be able to glue myself back together.
I have become a master at gluing myself together.
I have become a master at hiding my MONSTER.
I have become a master at not letting people see through the cracks, hiding my true self, and showing the new shiny container that my monster is kept in.
I AM A MONSTER.
I feel so lucky to be able to control my monster.
I just wish that she could do the same.
Copyright © Addison Johnson | Year Posted 2017
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Addison Johnson Poem
Alone.
Afraid.
Overshadowed by the darkness.
Confused.
Struggling through life.
Lonely.
Unwanted.
Uncared for.
Unloved.
Looking for a friend.
Hated.
Ridiculed by the others who just don’t understand.
No one understands.
Is there hope for me?
Will I always be alone?
What will happen to me?
I don’t know what to do.
I don’t know where to go.
Where do I belong?
Why don’t I belong?
I want to be happy
Why am I here?
I don’t want to be here.
I am all alone.
Afraid.
Nowhere to go.
No one to pick me up when I am down.
I am empty inside.
My heart full of nothing but tears, fears, and sorrows.
I want to feel wanted.
I want to be whole.
I am alone.
Totally alone.
Copyright © Addison Johnson | Year Posted 2017
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Addison Johnson Poem
He touched me.
He grabbed me.
He poked me.
He said terrible things.
He told me to date him, but only if I did something for him.
This is absolutely not OK.
This is harassment.
I will not accept this.
He has a girlfriend.
I demand respect.
He didn't listen to me.
I was afraid.
What can you do when an older boy just doesn't listen?
This is what he did to me.
This is what he did that scarred me, that scared me, that broke me.
I was told it was my fault.
"You led him on.
You weren't strict enough with him.
You let him do this.
You didn't say no."
I did say no.
I said no so many times.
This is not OK.
This is not my fault.
Copyright © Addison Johnson | Year Posted 2017
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Addison Johnson Poem
Is my pain funny to you?
Are my fears hilarious?
Do my tears make you laugh?
When I am upset, do you find it entertaining?
Why is my sadness a joke to you?
Why do you joke about something that makes me hate myself?
Did this happen to you?
Would you like it if this happened to you and I started to giggle?
THIS IS NOT A JOKE.
MY PAIN IS NOT FUNNY.
MY FEARS ARE NOT HILARIOUS.
MY TEARS SHOULD NOT MAKE YOU LAUGH.
WHEN I AM UPSET, YOU SHOULD NOT FIND IT ENTERTAINING.
MY SADNESS SHOULD NOT BE A JOKE TO YOU.
YOU SHOULD NOT JOKE ABOUT SOMETHING THAT MAKES ME HATE MYSELF.
THIS DID NOT HAPPEN TO YOU.
YOU WOULDN'T LIKE IT IF THIS HAPPENED TO YOU AND I STARTED TO GIGGLE
THIS IS NOT A JOKE.
Copyright © Addison Johnson | Year Posted 2017
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Addison Johnson Poem
I am a mirror.
Doing all I can to reflect the people around me.
Doing everything possible to fit in and be the same.
I am an unfinished work of art.
I continue to be shaped each day.
Mistakes are made, but in the end, I will be a wonderfully unique masterpiece.
I am a book.
I have stories to tell.
I have thoughts to share.
I bring people into my little world where everything is good.
I am a spider.
Slinking around in the background,
Sometimes unnoticed.
Often tuned out.
Some people dislike me, but I am strengthened by the ones who appreciate me and let me be myself.
Copyright © Addison Johnson | Year Posted 2017
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