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Best Poems Written by Lenny Levy

Below are the all-time best Lenny Levy poems as chosen by PoetrySoup members

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Cucumber's Lament

It's ridiculous
That you pickle us!

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First Lady of Hotitude

FIRST LADY OF HOTITUDE

You walk into a bar, all eyes lock on you,			
The fashions which you flaunt reveal quite a view,		
There’s something special ‘bout the way you move,			
You carry yourself with your own kind of groove.		
And then there’s that something in your attitude.		

There’s an air of je ne sais quoi about you,					
Not sure what that means but I want to check out you,			
You make men think thoughts that drive them to drink,			
You make women think thoughts they don’t want to think.			
And let’s recall something in your attitude.					

Hotitude is what you own in quantity						
Hotitude drives those who view you to moronity				
Others are exquisite, ravishing and hot,					
But hotitude is what you have and others have not.				
Everybody sees you have a lotta tude,					
They all agree you’re First Lady of Hotitude.				

You’re beyond gorgeous, more than glamorous,			
You make ev’ry man yearn to get amorous,					
There’s no way to pay enough platitudes,					
For that something special in your attitude,					
The world knows you’re First Lady of Hotitude.				

Your level of hotitude shatters all rules,					
When men see you they turn into bumbling fools,				
You could enter in a potato sack,						
And all would marvel how your taters are stacked.				
Plus there’s that something in your attitude.					

Hotitude is what you own in quantity						
Hotitude drives those who see you to moronity				
Others are stunning, superb, flawless and hot,				
But hotitude is what you have and others have not.				
Everybody sees you have a lotta tude,					
They all agree you’re First Lady of Hotitude.				

Everyone sees you knows you’re hotter than hot,				
Everyone envies all the assets you’ve got,					
You’re such a hottie, you could melt the Sun,				
Making guys drool for you is how you have fun,				
No one else is First Lady of Hotitude.
					
Some men would purchase diamonds, some buy furs,		
Just so they could make one night with you occur.				
You stir thoughts that ain’t puritanical,					
Even saints dream of you horizontical,					
Because you’re the First Lady of Hotitude.					


I’d pay a fortune to taste your honey,						
On a scale of one to ten, you’re a twenty,					
Wish I knew how to get past your Hotitude!			

Hotitude is what you own in quantity						
Hotitude drives those who see you to moronity				
Others are awesome, striking, perfect, and hot,			
But hotitude is what you have and others have not.				
Everybody sees you have a lotta tude,					
They all agree you’re First Lady of Hotitude.

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Turducken

There is a brand new treat,				
On the culinary horizon,				
They call it turducken,				
It requires much work to be done,			
It’s really fun to eat,					
But where in the world do you buy one?		

First you split a turkey open wide,			
Then place a bit of stuffing inside,				
Use a bread or a sausage stuffin’,			
Please don’t make it with English muffins,		

Next you split apart a duckling,			
Please do not use a pig that’s suckling,		
Lay that duckling inside your turkey,			
We need one more bird to make our three.		

We can’t forget to split a chicken,			
This portion will be finger lickin’,			
And guess what surprise you will add next,		
Another round of stuffing? You guessed!		

Now it is time to close the chicken,			
As the fowl juices start to kick in			
Then next we stitch up that tasty duck,		
Hopefully all the feathers were plucked,		

Finish by binding up that turkey,			
And the turducken has come to be,			
It has become the time to roast it,				
While we are at it, let us toast it,			
Just be sure not to overbroast it, 			
Cooking will take a good three hours,		
Time for a lot of whiskey sours.			

If game fowl is your fare,				
Then you truly will enjoy this one,			
When it’s cooked, you will stare,			
And ask how do you know when it’s done?		
So good you will not share,				
Cause eating turducken is so fun.

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Thanksgoving Leftovers

THANKSGIVING LEFTOVERS 

Thanksgiving has now come and gone,
But we’ve still got turkey by the pound,
So the question now becomes,
What leftover recipes can be found?

We can have turkey tetrazzini,
Turkey chili with lots of beanies,
Turkey chow mein,
Turkey with whole grains,
Cause we’re not thrilled by more turkey plain.

Turkey stacked on white bread, lots of mayo,
Turkey quite spicy doused with lots of Old Bay,
Pasta with turkey spaghetti sauce,
Turkey on a salad gently tossed,
And let’s not forget some turkey jerky.

Ben Franklin pushed the turkey for our national bird,
Cause turkey provided sustenance, that’s what he heard.
But he didn’t face the problem that confronts us today,
How do we make so much leftover turkey go away?

Turkey is quite versatile, Help us eat a pile,
Eat the neck, munch the gizzard, 
So much white meat, it’s a turkey blizzard.
And let’s not forget the turkey liver,
That’s the part Grandma says to give her.

Our turkey didn’t fly the coop,
That’s why we’ll enjoy turkey noodle soup,
Turkey in the straw, turkey cole slaw,
Take my advice, try turkey fried rice, 
Turkey pot pie, Got to give it a try.

How many days can one turkey last,
If we don’t get rid of these leftovers fast,
Then we’ll have turkey coming out our ears,
And we’ll eat turkey for a couple years.

Oh, no, I just remembered, Christmas is coming soon,
We can’t eat another turkey or we’re gonna swoon.
Guess instead we’ll serve ham, leg of lamb with mint jam, can of spam, 
A dozen clams, with a side of yams and crackers of graham.
Anything but turkey!