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James Black Poem
She knows she’s young
She’s lost her fun
In so little years
She’s filled with so many fears
Her momma scolds
Tells her she’s she got no hold
She sits and reads Matilda
Momma says to go out with her sister
She’s told she’s not pretty
She says she’s just a kid
They tell her without a boyfriend
She cannot play with them
She loves to Skip
She loves her toys
She just wants friendship
Doesn’t matter with girls or with boys
And as sixth grade ends and she’s lost her friends
Who are so eager to go and grow up
She decides to keep quietly to herself
Or else they’ll tell her to shut up
She loves being a kid
Still wants to play pretend
Doesn’t want to worry about makeup
Doesn’t want to worry about growth
Doesn’t want to style her hair, just wants to keep it short
Told she looks like a boy but she likes being different
Doesn’t want to be irreverent
She still feels like she’s eleven
And just wants to keep on shining
Wants to keep looking at the world as amazing
She doesn’t know what to do
She loves a man who’s 22
She knows she is much too young
And knows he thinks of her as young and dumb
He gives her a smile and walks on by
He calls her a “Pop tart” and gives her a high five
She dreams 10 years going by
When she’s allowed to be in his life
But she thinks then he’ll have a wife
And she’ll just dream of being the lonely bride
Will she have another chance
Was this her only shot?
She wonders what high school will be like
Will she be able to have another start?
She still wishes to make her mama proud
But she just wants a well primed child
She couldn’t be a beauty queen
And couldn’t dance or sing
She just likes to climb trees and read
And she still wants that into her teens
For this little twelve year old girl
Life was a nonstop whirl
The days go by too fast
She feels pretty soon she’ll be looking her last
As all her schoolmates gossip and change
She still wants to remain strange
She thinks about him everyday
And the days remain the same, the same
She’s older
She’s getting older
She’s getting older and she wants to go back
She takes old pictures, puts them in order
So that she can always look back
Copyright © James Black | Year Posted 2016
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James Black Poem
Now I don’t know if I really learned about love
Or if I got to explore what it’s made of
Is it a warm feeling when you hold hands?
And kiss and laugh at each other’s stance
Are there the troubles that seem to last forever?
Because if it works out, you get to live together?
Get married and have babies while still in your teens
You have the rest of the world to explore your means
Is it pain, is it awful? Is it something you want to end?
You’d do it yourself but you don’t want to lose another friend?
Why does it eat at you inside, why it makes you hate yourself?
Why does it make you think there’s something wrong with you?
Why would it make you want to kill yourself?
Is it that sad, is it really that true?
Why do some people say it’s happy times and some say it’s just shit
Why do some people think it’s who they are, and some say it doesn't exist?
Tell me about betty, what was it about Betty?
You said she was smart and slick but really really pretty
You never got to know her but you said she was the perfect girl
Until you saw her with Army, it changed your view of the world
Doing something illegal I think (Wink wink)
But if you brought it up, she’d say you weren’t her shrink
Was that not love though you said it was alright?
You could let her ago until another night
When you saw her again with an older guy
Well why? She didn’t love him either so why try?
So it wasn’t right and you didn’t win, but what about your fling with Jocelyn?
She likes track and field and feels the burn
And when she got wet you saw through her shirt
But that wasn’t sure, ‘cause you didn’t like sports
So love was a no go until Cindy Snow
Wasn’t as fine, maybe a little portly
But sweet as heck and had a nice little Courtney
She was interested and you played with it
But then she said she was a Santanist
You may not have been the holy man
But you couldn’t have that hanging over your head
You wanted to find someone instead
Now when you found it’s over
Had to find one more with Lola
Was a family friend but still real cool
But it was like incest with bended rules
And that was not something to do
So that couldn’t work but it was okay
Because she said she didn’t feel that way anyway
Copyright © James Black | Year Posted 2016
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James Black Poem
The French sail
To the Riviera
From the metis
To Canada
They became Acadians
And settled in Port Royale
Their lives were famine and conquest
But that didn’t hurt morale
The British were closing in
To evict the Acadians from the land
But they stood strong, and refused to yield
The British took control, and so began the great upheaval
Heed the wind
that rocks the sea
That carries the Acadians
No one be free
It’s a cold moon
an old man looks upon
The only home he ever knew
And now his world is gone
His wife had died in labor
He had to start again
He found another wife
Had two children while his first bred was a man
They travel on the Duke William
The sickness takes many down
He feels the sickness coming in
Before his life be drowned
The ship moored off Canso
After the violet sank
Duke William would follow in Tow
His old life returns to the age
His son lives on
To move to Cajun’s wood
For the Acadian spirit carries on
To the future of his brood
Copyright © James Black | Year Posted 2016
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James Black Poem
3 Monarch butterflies, her spirit still lives on
3 Monarch butterflies show me she’s not really gone
3 Monarch butterflies flying through the wind
To take me back to somber days where she speaks to me again
I’ll always remember
The things she has taught me
About being glorious
To live for the sake of being
To be kind and generous
And say no ill to anyone
The last time that I spoke to her
She was laughing and humming a song
The days that she followed me on
And spent time building me up
Telling me how to paint the sun
And laugh, looking back on every step
The times her and grandpa too
Would watch me as I went to the park
And looked down from the rocket ship
And smile at their waving arms
The times she’d take me to places
And comment on the beauty of every scene
She’d tell me “There’s beauty everywhere
There’s beauty in everything.”
When I saw her in the hospital, she smiled as I walked in
I sat down beside her bed, and began to hold her hand
She was in such critical pain but her smile never dimmed
I showed her a picture of her wedding day
She said “That’s my husband, I can’t wait to see him.”
3 monarch butterflies were hatched the minute she passed away
We were waiting days for cocoons to hatch and the butterflies to be set free
i got home from the hospital and was sitting on my porch
I saw a monarch butterfly flying close to me
To me it seemed to symbolize
That she was well and at peace
Copyright © James Black | Year Posted 2016
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James Black Poem
I know I must take the long old road
Where we Skiid on the ice cold
It was the only thing I remembered about seventh grade
Our hearts were getting easier to hold on
Although it was never hard
We visit the area we met
We sneak out to have a cigarette
You put up with my glum-ruled set
Whatever you had said
Will you wash it away
The taste of all the pain
Couldn't ever tell my mom
All the things I’d done
With a girl back then
But I was down and you were around for a while
I told her as I went home that I was too young
But she just said “Relax. Everyone does it by now.
Just hold on, it’s no big deal.”
I saw my own self from beneath the clouds
I was scared
I saw my face wither and die and freeze off my head
I saw the pain I had always tucked away
Tucked deep deep away
Tried to forget until now
But it’s so hard to cry
But you are the master of your own fate
Foreshadowing hate
Why do I always wish for then
When those days were such a waste of time
Wishing to be way back again
It could have been so good
But even the angels tell me I was a fraud
I cried in the night
Wondering who that girl was then
A sweet child I had loved
She told me there were stars
Where the warriors watch
But I can’t even taste my sourness
Walk on, we walk on
But we could have met that day
If only your mother let us go play
But we walk alone
Through the snowy neighborhood park
What, what did you say?
About red tailed Robins who nest in winter
You always were fascinated by such things
But I only liked history that pre dates
I cry in the night
And the angels tell me I’m wrong
I cry in the night
I walk alone through the melting park
Now that her mother shut her in the dark
Now she’s all alone
And there’s nothing I can do about it all
(TO BE CONTINUED...)
Copyright © James Black | Year Posted 2016
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James Black Poem
Lay still
Beautiful, dutiful angel
Fly to the heavens, a haven for you
Your end is part of your existence
Your existence, a flame burnt into your soul
That sprouts into the fruit of the landscape
And lends itself to the universe a pivotal role
Memories of darkness and heartless envy
Pass through like a bad bad dream
Like a cough that’s been stuck inside your throat
You won’t have those thoughts bleeding into your moat
Those thoughts need not lend themselves to your final moments
Put them high upon the shelf, into the lowly lands of ruins
Think of lights and colors that make you feel warm
Tasteful seeds of happy dreams feed sun onto the storm
Your fateful gown is worn
And as you fade into the dust of ages
And cross into another Multi dimension
A void with people with no faces
Instill belief in your suspension
As we drown in personal grief
You become part of the Global reef
Your heart’s last beat, in perfect breathing
Silent and still, with an empty peaceful mien
Closed hollow lips
Your dead cocoon stiff
No more shall you tremble
Worries disassemble
Listless lying wistful on the Mazama floor
A Casualty yet you still will have won your inner bitter war
That’s the way expiry should commence
Spirit dissipates through your brawn fence
I hold you pretending that it’s all a trance
But I’ll sit still believing until the end
I sit still believing until the end
I pretend I hear your perfect breathing like the wind
Copyright © James Black | Year Posted 2017
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James Black Poem
The world,in touch with one another
Mends with thoughts of lifeless lovers
And first love begins with the love of father and mother
And as we age and mold, we learn to love each other
As moments of fleeting love, feelings cast like stones in water
Still can live and grow, until the stones grow into boulders
And you could see the magic forming, fitting
And you learn to know that love is different for every being
Lonely roses, and withered Chrysanthemums
The soil beneath their feet, crest that sends them on
A human being who’s mind is fleeing to imagination’s second sun
And somewhere another one’s heart longs for a different kind of one
And two worlds so far apart, and unlike anyone before
Or since, reminiscent of love that was loved long, long ago
A love that brought them into this world and let them learn to let love grow
For love was only on this Earth to give ourselves a sense of soul
And if we’re only here for each other, to help each other from getting cold
And not having the touch of another person’s love before getting old
It’s a love that can’t put into words
It’s a love that only comes from being torn
And put together from greater force than anyone
Though we try to learn about it, we can’t escape it’s clutching touch
But be not afraid for it’s the greatest lift to ever have known
And if you think you’ll never find it, just think about it happening to everyone
Make your love that’s internal
Blended hearts, eternal and new
Until you’re one, no longer two
And make the love that has a few
It’s a love that can only become eternal
Copyright © James Black | Year Posted 2016
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James Black Poem
I only said it, to make you smile back
You wouldn't say it back
I like to shy away from the world
To silence the thoughts
don't have to think about the camera girl
With soft locks
Just stick my head in a book, my masking mistook
I think I killed the atmosphere
It's okay, it wasn't so great in here
Some say my vocabulary is full blown
And some say I'm a misanthrope
Oh ho, you couldn't wait to say hi
Is she looking at us? just smile and wave
I don't know what she's saying
Does she want us to come over?
You do it, now say it
Oh you disappoint me
She's a party girl if I ever saw one
And I only saw one in my brother’s black room
Air always smelled like a Hippie reunion
And I'm pretty sure they were all doing shrooms
She's a Rhythmic, non-cynic, hygienic class act
She likes to speak like a debaucherous Nazz
I don't know what I want
But I know what I need is her
Stay right here
I'll get the girl
Can't sleep as I think of a song
I can't remember the words but it went bom bom bom bom
my wind, my world
Ah, Those dreams with my girl
Ever notice in the life of your dreams
You're never self-loathing, or nervous or mean
It's so fine
Good times
All sorts of lives
With her hand in mine
Time and time again, I'm on the far side of Earth
They say it's different as you get old
But I doubt I'll stop myself from looking too dumb
Where is that so called spirit you speak of?
"Oh stop, you silly boy.
I told you I like you as a friend.
Oh is this for me? Why thank you.
We're still just friends.
Oh my now you say you love me.
We were just friends a week ago.
You're too attached.
It's okay, we all get that way sometimes.
Here, let's go for a ride."
"See all the boys think of me as a temptress
Like I use guys and make them do my bidding.
But you'll find I'm just trying to be nice.
We can't all be lovey dovey.
What's a girl to do?"
Feeling sappy on my own
I know someday I'd make you turn
Well it's the classical pneumonic state you're in
I can’t believe this wild wicked sin
It's in your genes, it's in your blood
It's 90 degrees
Let's flood flood flood
Time to do it tonight
Copyright © James Black | Year Posted 2016
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James Black Poem
It was a wonderful ride
That the kids thoroughly enjoyed
But though they’re very young
They had so many laughs and so much fun
You know it will all change when life moves on
You know that it will change when adulthood comes
You chase them around while they giggle and hide
You hurt your back giving them a piggy back ride
And they laugh and hiccup in joy
And they think you’re so much fun to annoy
They jump around and ask you to watch them dance
And you smile for you know it’s a finite chance
But though they may not think of you now
And though their lives have ever changed
Just give a smile and be glad for the time they spent with you
You always loved the child’s play
An innocence you wish had stayed
When fantasy was reality
When reality was not boring
And you know the old folks feel sad
Because they’re children aren't coming back
And though you know you’ll feel the same
Whenever they grow up and change
But hopefully they’ll look back and smile at the time they spent with you
Hopefully when they’re old and gray
Years afar when you've past away
And all they have of you is memory
They’ll feel warm and fondly recall the time they spent with you
Don’t be silly, you know they’ll always love the time they've spent with you
Things may change but not the memories of the time they've spent with you
It means so much now it’ll always mean more the time they spent with you
Copyright © James Black | Year Posted 2016
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James Black Poem
So why does it end with the love lies?
Now once you got to Jr. High
People were cruel, it was hard to get by
Getting depressed in the circle of life
But now girls are better, more shapely now than then
You started getting excited when one made the slightest bend
It happened again and hit like softball
When a girl named Mason picked you for the team above them all
And the one day when you graded her paper
Pretended not to know her, and asked the teacher
And not too shabbily you made a new friend
And a new confidante to make laughs with sins
The Summer went by, you wanted to ask her out
But she moved away, strike three you’re out!
And maybe Betty, Jocelyn weren't anything to you
And Cindy Snow, Lola, Mason meant so much it’s true
You found yourself back in your self induced prison
Until Casey brought you out of your demons
She was a nice young thrill who’s looks could kill
Nothing could go wrong you thought, until it will
She was a young sporty type with her head in the game
And the only true thing you knew of her was her name
You slipped a note in her locker, putting feelings in honest
But never knew what could have been ‘cause you left it anonymous
And the feelings grew for two long years
Until It grew a life of its own that you always feared
Rejection, no question
It’s always been near
Just imaginations, delusions
Simply all too weird
And into the ride in your Sophomore year
You’re still all alone, everyone’s found their dears
And it pierces you like a thousand knives
Well not quite, 50 billion more like
It’s so sad because he’s perfect and there’s nothing you can do
You spent so much time worrying about something that wasn't true
You loved her too much that your friendship got stuck
Can’t love again, at least for a long time not
So let me ask you again, why do you feel?
That only unrequited love is the only love that’s real?
Maybe it’s just you but look at everyone else
Before you think about love, maybe you should love yourself
Copyright © James Black | Year Posted 2016
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