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Jon B. Rangel Poem
It's been a long time I know,
the future laid before us untold.
What we both want for each other,
no more holding back from what our hearts can usher.
Now the decision is yours to make,
the feelings between us have been anything but fake.
The desire for more than we've had in a while,
I can't hold back anymore to try and make you smile.
Don't doubt what your heart tells you cause it was made for love,
forget the anger the confusion and anything fearful you can think of.
The future within is laid before our feet,
both of us not willing to accept defeat.
You know I love you more than anything in this life,
my friend, my lover, my wife.
Copyright © Jon B. Rangel | Year Posted 2007
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Jon B. Rangel Poem
For months in a pointless wallow,
many moments I found it hard to swallow.
The only thing I could down was whiskey
my actions were nothing but risky.
Keeping myself insane to ease the pain of self destruction,
going through the motions I could not even function.
Spawning hate towards the one I at one time truly loved,
anger, sadness and despair in the pit of my soul shoved.
It's been a wild ride of highs and low's,
giving myself emotional blow's.
To the point of no return I've been there twice,
my existence there was no price.
But now for some reason time has stopped,
time to pick up my life where it was dropped.
An about face that I don't want to do again,
leaving me not knowing where to begin.
Copyright © Jon B. Rangel | Year Posted 2009
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Jon B. Rangel Poem
It was over ten years ago I fell in love,
doing so I cursed the deity up above.
Thinking I could control my universe and stay content,
not knowing that my relationship would descend.
What to do now that I am alone,
will I allow my heart to turn to stone?
From bliss to hell In a day,
would send my mind into dismay.
Ok so now I'm bipolar,
where to restart when there's lack of order.
This is the end and it's official,
I'll refuse to live my life superficial.
Copyright © Jon B. Rangel | Year Posted 2009
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Jon B. Rangel Poem
Vacant heart, vacant mind, what have I done?
I wander these days with my soul on the run.
Although my mind is full I feel empty,
a whilrwind laden with confusion and memory's debris.
My heart aches to feel the love I once had,
Do I really wish to carry on feeling sad?
Hold me as you once did in our moments of solitude,
forget about the scars on your heart that are forever tattooed.
For they will heal if you let your pain and anger go,
if you accept my love to you on whom I bestow.
All these long days undecided,
don't let the influence of others lead you to be misguided.
Vacant heart, vacant mind, I never wanted to be apart from you,
lonliness, anger, fear, regret, together must be subdued.
Copyright © Jon B. Rangel | Year Posted 2007
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Jon B. Rangel Poem
Oh here we go again,
time to be force fed dogmatic propaganda all done in vain.
Another sick form of medicine and policy,
against all forms of rational logic it's considered heresy.
At the discretion of someone else's whim,
hoping the outcome of their next victim is grim.
Another life destroyed to cover their own hide,
more royal recognition for them to boost their pride.
This over reaction is not necessary, your logic is deluded,
if need be on my part the situation will be feuded.
I've never hurt anyone except to bruise your self admiration,
If you're so concerned for me then "let it go" and defer your temptation.
Like a witch hunt I must stand firm and face my fate,
I will not bend before I break.
Copyright © Jon B. Rangel | Year Posted 2007
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Jon B. Rangel Poem
You know both of us never wanted this,
our lives now are anything but bliss.
I can't wake up in the morning feeling joy,
instead I feel like I'm a broken toy,
Never to be repaired and set in a box,
and not knowing how to undo the locks.
Locks that you've set up in your heart,
and yet I wonder if they were there from the start.
Pleaded my case, mind and heart to you my dear wife,
feeling that I have no choices in my life.
If you want everything to end then just say it,
and I will end my devotion although hard to admit.
I still imagine waking up to you by my side,
you know you can't sit back and say I didn't try.
We're both at the dead end of a marriage.
I've tried everything I know to try and win back your trust and love,
seems like the future of our lives is determined by the almighty up above.
Copyright © Jon B. Rangel | Year Posted 2007
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Jon B. Rangel Poem
My insomnia has worn me thin,
when I get out of bed I know not where to begin.
No purpose, no income, no motivation,
hence forth I am consumed by this damnation.
Ativan, Ambien to help cope,
where then is my self to hope?
Spontaneous anguish found in a drawer,
absorbing the pain from the past in horror.
There is but one person who gives me peace,
I can speak from what little I have left from my soul to her,
as all my anguish seems to cease.
There is so much more that I want from her,
yet cherish the friendship, all my feelings transfer.
I feel lost in these long hours of darkness,
At wit's end, sipping bourbon, my misery becoming noxious.
Copyright © Jon B. Rangel | Year Posted 2010
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Jon B. Rangel Poem
I'm a ship lost at sea, I have no way to navigate,
no compass to give me direction,
a cloudy sky at night and no stars to guide me.
For I am in the doldrums of a relationship,
recirculated in endless circles never to find my way.
When will the sky clear?
When will the seas calm?
When will the stars shine?
For I'm at the mercy of the sea who is my wife,
and told by others are sea stories of peril and woe,
for who knows where the sea will send you when you think you have control.
Pushing on with my sails ripped,
rudder broken and current driven.
I am the captain on the ship of my life,
lost in the sea of despair and don't know where to go.
Copyright © Jon B. Rangel | Year Posted 2007
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Jon B. Rangel Poem
Another year gone by,
time certainly does fly.
Hoping that it would be another year together,
instead dwelling on fears of loosing you forever.
Today is my birthday, a joyous occasion,
but instead I mourn in silence, living in damnation.
Is this to be the norm forever?
Wishing day by day things will get better.
I dream of this day being at the boardwalk with you
and our daughter,
but instead today I will be alone, the fear of any
mother or father.
Today is my birthday, and there will be a tomorrow,
but for now I must live it in sorrow.
Copyright © Jon B. Rangel | Year Posted 2006
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Jon B. Rangel Poem
I wish things never turned out this way between us, I gave it my all only too late,
our lives in a ruckus.
It hurts so much to say goodbye,
especially to see our young one cry.
Please remember that I tried my best,
what ever you do, don't put our marriage at rest.
I love you so much sometimes I can't explain, my heart aching to hold you close
again.
The mistakes I've made in the past please forgive me, don't let that brick wall you
have up get lost at sea.
I've always wanted it to work just never knew how to do it, only knowing now my
futile efforts would cause you to quit.
No grudges held against you is all that I know, not giving up hope is all I can
show.
You're tired I understand and say you've made up your mind, please don't go thru
life as if you were blind.
I'm trying to become someone you knew before, never giving up when both our
hearts are sore…….
Copyright © Jon B. Rangel | Year Posted 2006
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