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Brittney Tyler Poem
I am unlovable
If we are the sum of all our parts
I am unlovable
My parts are broken
Dark and dingy and twisty
The sum of my parts are jagged
And I am unlovable
Copyright © Brittney Tyler | Year Posted 2016
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Brittney Tyler Poem
Intoxicating smell
I breathe you in
The smell of sweet torture
You intoxicate me
And I get high on exhilaration from you.
Dangerous games
We play Russian roulette with my heart
You take aim and fire
Each blank is a rush of fear and adrenaline
With an underlying tinge of pain.
Painful pleasure
You find new ways to break me
Then you build me back up again
I know the pain is almost unbearable
But I keep coming back for the high of the pleasure.
Bad addiction
Almost every part of me knows you're no good
A bad drug pulsing through my system
And I can't give you up
Because I'm addicted to your type of pain.
Copyright © Brittney Tyler | Year Posted 2016
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Brittney Tyler Poem
I spend my life waiting
Waiting for what comes next
Waiting for the other shoe to drop
Waiting to be disappointed again
Or to have my heart broken
Always waiting,
Anticipating
Preparing myself for the next tragedy
Or heartache
And I'm not really living
I'm just surviving
I mean, what kind of life can you have
When you spend all your time building walls
Preparing for the next battle
Waiting for the next storm
Just going through the motions of life
But here I sit,
Waiting
Copyright © Brittney Tyler | Year Posted 2016
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Brittney Tyler Poem
You're falling in love with me
That wasn't supposed to happen.
And I'm sorry.
I'm just going to hurt you.
All I wanted was something fun,
Easy, casual, non committed.
I'm not connected to you
And I won't be.
For me, you're just Mr Rightnow.
A time filler.
Someone to keep me company.
I never meant to be your Mrs Right.
I never meant for you to fall in love.
I should let you go,
But I won't. Not yet.
I' m still having fun.
And maybe a part of me wants to hurt you,
The way that I was hurt before
By someone else.
Because I can.
It's horrible, and cruel
But I'm still so broken,
And incapable of love, only pain.
So breaking you
Will help fix me.
I'd say I'm sorry
But, I'm not.
Copyright © Brittney Tyler | Year Posted 2015
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Brittney Tyler Poem
You're pregnant.
The doctor confirms what I already knew
And the fear and shock set in.
I'm to young,
Only 20, to immature
I'm not ready.
But this little person is a part of me
And I already love it.
It's a boy.
Four ultrasounds later I finally know what you are
And I cry.
I was hoping for a pink baby
And I'm hormonal and scared.
How do you raise a boy?
What will he like?
But I already loved him with all of me.
It's time.
After three trips to the hospital for pre-term labor
It's finally real now.
Twenty-nine hours in labor in the hospital
Almost three hours of pushing
And I see him
And I hold him
And I know in that moment my life has begun.
Before that day I was selfish
And on a downward spiral of self-destruction
But from that moment on
My life was you
And I may have given you life
My dear sweet love
But on the day I realized I was carrying you,
You saved mine.
You will always be
The only man that mommy will ever need
And with every second
Of every day
I will love you
More than the moment before
And I will keep and protect you
For the rest of time.
Copyright © Brittney Tyler | Year Posted 2015
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Brittney Tyler Poem
I'm taking a trip
Back down the rabbit hole
I know exactly how this will end
Before it even begins
But I can't help myself
I spent months recovering from you
Trying to move on for the insanity
But all it took was one look
And now I'm chasing you back down
Following you into our wonderland
Where we are all a little mad
I guess I have to be a bit crazy
To jump back into this with you
Even though you left me all alone twice before
But here I am again
Going back down the rabbit hole
Into the crazy passions of desire
Getting lost in our wonderland
Copyright © Brittney Tyler | Year Posted 2015
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Brittney Tyler Poem
Have you ever wondered about giving up?
Throwing in the towel and just walking away.
What keeps you from just quitting?
Each new day brings a new struggle.
A new fight to be won.
Do you ever feel like you are losing the battle?
How can you win?
When the war is with yourself.
And you're fighting the battle alone.
Copyright © Brittney Tyler | Year Posted 2016
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Brittney Tyler Poem
Brittney Tyler
The mind blowing devastation sets in
It's the subtle feeling of inadequacy
Mixed with the feelings of anger and betrayal.
Why didn't you love me?
I turn over every detail of us in my head
Questioning every decision I made
Wondering what I did to push you away.
Why didn't you love me?
All the notes and gestures of caring
The cooking and smiling and laughing
None of it was enough, none was good enough.
Why didn't you love me?
I can't figure out what I did so wrong
Why couldn't I just be enough for you
What about me is so lacking and unfulfilling.
Why didn't you love me?
And all I want to do is wallow in my darkness
To forget about all of this and not feel
My whole everything is torn and hurts beyond compare.
Why didn't you love me?
You moved on so quickly and effortlessly
Smiling with no care in the world
Living life with no regrets.
Why didn't you love me?
I'm sitting here faking a smile
Pretending not to care or to hurt
But inside my soul is crushed and dying.
Why didn't you love me?
So I will keep a smile on my face
Pulling myself out of the devastation and into the sun
And forgetting about you and the pain that you caused.
Because I deserve someone who will love me.
Copyright © Brittney Tyler | Year Posted 2015
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Brittney Tyler Poem
There comes a great darkness
A time full of sad
And nothing makes sense
And the world spins round mad.
I sit all alone
In my world full of dark
And the madness it spins
And my outlook is stark.
The more that it spins
Is the more that I fall
Then I twist and I turn
As my world becomes dull.
And it hurts and I'm scared
As I feel nothing at all
Except the dark grey sadness
Of the depression ball.
I hear all the voices
They scream in my head
You are worthless and nothing
You're better off dead.
I fight and I struggle
To keep it at bay
Every moment becomes darker
As the night ends my day.
I slowly slip down
Into the dark world of mad
And I let it take over
The darkness and the sad.
Copyright © Brittney Tyler | Year Posted 2015
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Brittney Tyler Poem
Hey there good looking
You coming my way.
Buy me a drink
I'm ready to play.
I'm just a girl
And I wanna have fun.
You think you can handle me
If not, you better run.
My games are for keeps
And I break all the rules.
I'll blind you with fantasy
As I play you for fools.
This girl wants to have fun
That's all I can say.
So come on now boy
It's time, now let's play.
Copyright © Brittney Tyler | Year Posted 2015
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