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Karen Michelle Loos Copeland Poem
What in the world am I doing here?
This world, now I know, is not real...
Where is the wheel? How do I steer?
Because I know exactly how I feel...
Why should I choose?
And who really cares?
I'm tired of all thier questioning stares.
I Am Who I Am.
I don't want to be someone else.
I won't change my mind-
The cards have been dealt...
Who created this F---ed-up program?
Does he sit behind his camera & laugh?
Who drew the G--d--ed diagram?
And how much does he pay his staff?
KC'06
Copyright © Karen Michelle Loos Copeland | Year Posted 2006
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Karen Michelle Loos Copeland Poem
Roses are all different colors now.
And the violets don't even really know-
that the sugar is not feeling so sweet, anymore.
Cuz' love left nothing behind, just me-
I didn't go...
The colors all think that their hues are all used up-
And all these souls don't know where to go...
Somehow, the sky remains bluish gray up above,
but lights no path for the lost to roam.
There is no place for them to call home.
No one is waiting. No one cares.
No one is crying because you feel dead.
No one is calling. No one is coming.
No one is crying because you're not there.
Theres nothing to live for,
but your breath comes just the same...
Theres nothing to die for, either-
We live in their f__'ed-up GAME...
Theres no one to love you just because they want to-
No one to be proud for all the real good you do...
No one to kiss your Boo-Boo's all better-
No One. Not Anymore. Not Ever...
And....
No One, (remember?), had to show her the door;
She opened it herself, turned and looked at you for the last time-
knowing that she'd no longer, EVER, be able to look you in the eye...
She couldn't grace you with Good-Bye.
You deserved some acknowledgment, or some reason why...
A reason for all these wasting tears-
The ones I still can't hide...
No explanation for her decision.
She left before you could even ask why(?)
You try to understand why she betrayed your trust.
The only trust, in the one & only mother you ever had...
You lost all FAITH in me, Mom-
And I always held your hand...
Right or Wrong- YOU, I stood beside.
I guess in all these years, I shouldn't of held on so F-N tight...
All the while I thought you were loving me,
You were just taking me for a ride...
I WISH someone would've told me,
how my part played out, long ago...
Because I could've walked here FASTER-
And I could've done it all ALONE.....
K.C. feb25,2006
Copyright © Karen Michelle Loos Copeland | Year Posted 2006
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Karen Michelle Loos Copeland Poem
Roses are Red,
The Blood inside flows BLUE;
Much like the longing that CONSUMES me for you.
Roses are Red,
Veins bleed Blue.
Should've stayed out of my head...
NOW I HATE YOU...
KC'02
Copyright © Karen Michelle Loos Copeland | Year Posted 2006
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Karen Michelle Loos Copeland Poem
Waiting here patiently.
Riding out life.
Waiting with Nothing.
Constant Strife.
In between walls
that seem emptier than me-
Listening for what calls,
Whats screaming for me.
Craving what doesn't need me.
Tasting all thats tempting.
Feeling what can not be felt.
Need it to CONSUME ME.....
KarenMichelleCopeland
june07'04
Copyright © Karen Michelle Loos Copeland | Year Posted 2006
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Karen Michelle Loos Copeland Poem
If I close my eyes & breathe in-
drawing deeply-
I can go to the place that tempts me,
taunting me so sweetly.....
I'm blinded by the glow that shines here.
A light, it beckons anxiously-
so I can't see what awaits me.....
I know you're standing there,
watching me, and I know you're alone.
I can feel you very close to me,
and I can smell your musk.....
You immediately empower my senses.
I relish in your nectar, your flavor is pure Intoxication.
You juices, spreading strongly-
surprisingly seduce my tongue,
and savoring you, you fill my mouth.....
The abduction has just begun-
I GASP.....
almost choking, I almost forget to breathe-
EXHALE.....
And the tingling sensation, crawling,
caressingly up my spine, is absorbing me-
Have we somehow stopped time?
Your energy is so raw, so REAL-
it's shock is deafening.....
It's shooting right to the center of my being-
Igniting a spark, that's electric.....
Surrendering my all, I feel you soaring through me-
Possessing all that I've become-
owning ALL of ME......
K.C. oct25,2003
Copyright © Karen Michelle Loos Copeland | Year Posted 2006
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Karen Michelle Loos Copeland Poem
Im trying to get used to u not holding me anymore-
Trying to get used to "NO KISS" as u walk out the door.
Im trying to get used to taking my shower all alone-
Im trying to not worry whether or not youre coming home.
Im trying to get used to sleeping all by myself-
Trying to get used to u putting my heart on a shelf.
Im trying to get used to not having a boyfriend anymore-
Trying to figure out what I am being punished for.
Im sorry for disappointing u and letting u down-
I thought we understood each other-thought we tread the same ground.
I wasnt expecting this-I thought wed make it thru OK
But I still havent came down from the shock.
My heads still REELING, ever since the other day.
I wish we somehow could of made it out of here-
I wish you didnt feel so far away from me, when you are laying so freaking near.
Im sorry that I couldnt make you happy anymore.
I just wish I knew what this has all been for.
I will never stop loving u-And forever I'll regret losing U this way.
I wish you hadnt given up on me so soon.
Wish u couldve listened to me & believed in me 2.
We didnt get here all alone-and I knew I wasnt playing-
But what we had wasnt strong enough-
Becuz I lost U over BULL they were saying.
The Only 1 ASSOUT...The only 1 paying.
I've LOVED u for a very long time.
I guess its time to say GOODBYE...Our Bond just isnt Strong enough
To fight against the "NEW GUY".
I wish I could change whatever I did to make u turn on me.
Please turn in a better direction this time, make sure u look & see-
Recognize that I just loved u for who you are-
Not for all the things u could do for me.
I know that I had NOTHING- and u've supported me all the way.
I wasnt looking for a free ride, I thought we were going the same way.
I guess that Im just not as important as before-
I guess Im not so special to u anymore-
Guess I dont play the GAME guite as well as 'them'-
Because once again I get to play the loser-Of a game I'll never win.
SO -GOOD LUCK TO U & ALL YOUR "IMPORTANT" NEW FRIENDS-
Theyll hang out while they need UR help-
I really didnt long for much more than u holding me at the end of the day.
I hope u find what it is UR looking for anyway.
Just remember to "TRUST NO 1",
And trying is such a chore.
And when u come up short-handed,
Just Remember,Youre Worth So Much More.
I will miss u so much,u'll probably never even know-
That I wish this wasn't the end of us-
"The End Of Our Big Show".....
Copyright © Karen Michelle Loos Copeland | Year Posted 2007
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Karen Michelle Loos Copeland Poem
I am flower.
I might not seem like much.
I put the please in pleasure.
I am satisfying to the touch.
I'm what assaults your senses.
I am the voice thats calling your name.
I am what whispers, breathing softly-
I'm the blood flowing through your veins...
I am the voice that can't be heard by you.
Not when your listening for something else.
Blindly searching through the haze;
Reaching out to calm all that is screaming-
Just gets you deeper, stuck inside the maze...
I am the noise that will never make a sound.
I am the wrong that you will never make right.
I'm the voice your not listening for-
LOST & FORGOTTEN-
You can't acknowledge what hasn't been found.
Won't ever hear what has no sound.
Can't see in the dark without a light.
Can't go into battle if there isn't a fight.
And without the wind,
I can not fly...
But without a voice-
I'd much rather die...
KarenMichelleCopeland
sept10'04
Copyright © Karen Michelle Loos Copeland | Year Posted 2006
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Karen Michelle Loos Copeland Poem
It's been five long years,
Although it seems a thousand lifetimes ago...
It marked the beginning of fresh new fears for me-
The day my mother became my foe...
I would'nt believe it could happen.
The thought never crossed my mind.
It never once occured to me-
That my mother would leave me behind...
Up until that exact moment-
Right up till the very end;
The end only marking the beginning-
I believed my mother was also my friend...
And being her only child-
I thought she'd always have my back.
But an unconditional love for me
was something she greatly "LACKED".
To be all alone in the world,
Is obviosly something she's never felt.
As I still struggle to keep from drowning-
I'm still willing my heart not to melt...
It melts at the thought of her calling my name...
It melts when I still try to breathe...
It melts when I hope to wake-up & discover,
that mommie never left me-
It's just a "bad dream"...
The days go by,
Though time hasn't stopped...
And I'm living this "Real to Life Nightmare"
In a big ugly world, that hasn't been POPPED...
Someday I hope it gets easier,
'Cuz I must have been a real "LET DOWN"....
Or maybe I'll just get DIZZIER-
As this world keeps spinning me around...
I was a bad choice, I guess;
One of many she's talked of making...
So why GOD thought it neccessary to take my ANGELS,
Will always be a mystery...
Why was I FORSAKEN?...
I hope they make-up for my being all WRONG...
But when she took my "last reason for breathing"-
Didn't HE hear my heart break?
Couldn't he feel me BLEEDING?
Yes, it was a very long time ago.
That sad day mommie wished me away...
You'd think in five years I'd be over it-
It's been "One-Thousand Eight-Hundred and Twenty-five days,
Since the second I BLINKED and became an orphan,
No longer thier MOMMIE-Alone with no family-
A SINGLE LINK...
Guess I'll think twice before blinking again-
Because it confirmed all suspicion of being my
"MOMMIES GREATEST SIN".
I'm sorry, Mommie, I disappointed you so-
I hope my babies make you proud, even after they grow...
I didn't mean to bring you down-
You should've been proud of the 'Only Child' you were given-
The same little girl that made you frown...
Just Me............
Your Unforgiven.
KC 1/18/05
Copyright © Karen Michelle Loos Copeland | Year Posted 2006
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Karen Michelle Loos Copeland Poem
The world just keeps turning-
Spin'n Me Round & Round...
On every turn, they change the script-
Always re-writing, Searching for the Sound.
And the deeper s--t gets, its gets funnier.
And the circle just keeps Spiral'n down...
I look around & realize-
I am surrounded by COMEDIANS & CLOWNS...
KC'06
Copyright © Karen Michelle Loos Copeland | Year Posted 2006
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Karen Michelle Loos Copeland Poem
It's too f--ken bad
That you're always so sad.
Must today be a fad-
to constantly be mad?!?
Wish you would get a grip-
and get used to it...
You're Living In-
LIFES REALITY TRIP!
(does it feel like your being had?)
KC'03
Copyright © Karen Michelle Loos Copeland | Year Posted 2006
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