Details |
Antonio Mack Poem
I don't understand this..
My head is filled with thought.
But I speak none of it.
My heart is filled with love.
But no one to share it with.
My soul is filled with darkness.
But no light to shed on it.
I hate what I feel.
The pain is real.
External pain.
Internal pain.
Is what I feel.
I don't want to feel like this.
But I have no control over it.
My body is taken over.
Nothing feels real.
I sit in the shadows.
Afraid to see the light.
The silence overwhelms me.
Never knowing what to say.
My dreams turn to nightmares.
Terrifying and dark.
Trying to sleep at night.
It feels like a battle doomed to lose.
Drugs I consume takes the pain
away.
Well they blind me from what's real.
Cuts on my wrist.
The only thing that feels real.
Depression consumes me.
As you can tell.
There's something trying to reach
me.
Not sure what it is.
Night fall.
Bright moon.
Beautiful stars.
Alone.
Copyright © Antonio Mack | Year Posted 2014
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Details |
Antonio Mack Poem
As i sit on this bathroom floor,
gripping a blade in my hand, with it
firmly pressed on my left wrist. I
start thinking this thought that could
change everything.. End everything. I
think of the people who would miss
me. I think of the people who
wouldn't care. I think to myself,
"Should I be doing this", this voice
inside me says, "Yes. Why are you
living anyway? Nobody cares for
you, they wouldn't even notice you're
gone. They don't love you.. Come on,
do it.. End it now, it's the best way..
It's the only way. The sound of the
voice was so weird. Well I can't say the
voice inside of me was wrong. It had
been completely right about
everything. What if this was the only
way? I wish it hadn't been true. It is
the only way. I think to myself, "Suck
it up! It will all be over soon. Just
one, two, three quick slits and you're
done. Get it over with already, i'm
tired of thinking about it! Then all of
a sudden, a voice said, "Stop! What
are you doing? This isn't you." The
voice was so heavenly, so clear, so...
Beautiful. I didn't bother wondering
where the voice came from, because
it came like the weird voice inside
me. I told the voice, "You don't know
me! You don't know anything!" SLIT
SLIT SLIT. Crimson blood, running
down my arm. I feel calm and in
control, but the pain is unbearable.
Unaware of it, I start to feel tears
running down my face. I get dizzy,
the bathroom I lay in gets darker. My
heartbeat gets slower, then, I fall into
a deep sleep. Or what I think was a
deep sleep. After a minute, I get up
from laying on the floor. I look
around, I see blood on the floor and
something else.. Me. Still lying there
on the floor, unconscious. I looked
so relaxed. Then it came to me. "Am
I dead?" Where is hell? Where is
heaven? I committed suicide so
heaven is not an option. I sit back on
the bathroom floor.. Confused. I fell
asleep next to my body. Morning
came, I wake up feeling groggy,
confused. I hear people banging on
the bathroom door and yelling. I
stand up, stumbling. I look around to
see blood still on the floor.. But the
unconscious, bloody body was
gone.. I was gone. Am I alive again? I
cleaned the blood, put on my best
face and hid the scars. I opened the
door and a bright light hit my entire
body like I just stepped into heaven
or something.. Everything is just so
clear now.
Copyright © Antonio Mack | Year Posted 2014
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Details |
Antonio Mack Poem
In this dark and gloomy room,
staring out the window to the bright
and mysterious moon. The winking
stars in the sky, so conceited, above
the slow and gentle clouds floating
by. I close my eyes, and dream of her
and I, in the sky, on those slow and
gentle clouds, swiftly, gently floating
by. Holding hands, I hold her tight,
for the fear of her falling from the
sky. But if she were to slip, I would
bet she'd fly on wings of meditation,
like the angel I know of her to be. But
on the clouds we quietly lay, gazing
up upon that bright moon. I look at
her, thinking to myself. "You are so
beautiful. I wish we could lay here
forever." She looks at me, I softly
say, "I love you." Then, she
disappears.. I awaken to a tear
running down my face. I look back
out the window to that bright and
mysterious moon.. But, it's gone
now. Big, puffy, gray clouds cover it..
Then, it starts to rain.
Copyright © Antonio Mack | Year Posted 2014
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Details |
Antonio Mack Poem
I am drowning.. Deeper and deeper I
go.. Nobody jumps in to help..
Nobody calls for help.. Deeper and
deeper I go.. I don't try to swim.. I
don't know how.. Deeper and deeper
I go.. It's getting darker.. Everyone
leaves me.. Deeper and deeper I go..
Thoughts of her cross my mind.. Her,
meaning love.. Deeper and deeper I
go.. Thoughts of hate cross my
mind.. Hate, meaning darkness and
rivers of blood.. Deeper and deeper I
go.. I haven't hit the bottom yet.. But
I have a feeling it's coming.. Deeper
and deeper I go.. I close my eyes.. I
begin to relax.. Deeper and deeper I
go.. My heart beats faster.. I get
colder.. Deeper and deeper I go.. You
would think im drowning in water..
But im not.. Deeper and deeper I go.
Copyright © Antonio Mack | Year Posted 2014
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