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Elisia Barlow Poem
With every tear that falls another part of me breaks and turns to ash.
Ash because every glorious, passionate fire fades away and turns to ash.
The smoke clears and all are left are crumbling ashes soon blown away by the wind.
And the miraculous fire that once consumed everything goes away.
I am the ashes left over and soon scattered on the breeze,
and you are the once glorious flame that ignited my every being.
The end result?
You will burn brightly again,
but I...I will continue to drift haphazardly on the wind with no purpose and no use.
Left to float among the sky and wait for you to ignite again so that, if only for a moment, I could feel your warmth again and remember what it was like to burn so passionately with you.
Copyright © Elisia Barlow | Year Posted 2014
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Elisia Barlow Poem
Where do you go when you need support and the one who has always supported you isn’t there?
Who is left to help?
Who do I turn to in my time of need?
How do I ask for help from a God that I don’t believe in?
“We can do this. Amor vincit omnia (Love conquers all)” has become my silent mantra but the more I say it the harder it is to believe.
Can we get through this?
Can we really over come this obstacle or will this be the thing that tears us apart?
You are my solid loving presence that I turn to in my time of distress.
You are my soft and loving embrace when love is all I need.
You are my silent reminder that I mean something to someone.
Am I worth the effort to try to fix this?
The fear of impending loss is so great that in my mind I feel as if I have already lost you.
Someone help me!
I don’t think I’m strong enough to handle this alone, but I don’t have anyone to turn to.
I’ve never felt this alone.
I scream in distress for help, but no one can hear me.
I sob in heart wrenching agony, but no one comes to comfort me.
I am alone with only my pathetic my mind’s attempt to keep the nightmares of my life at bay.
This is my hell.
The only company, my misery.
The only feeling, my agony.
Silent prayers sent to a God that I’m not sure is real.
Is this punishment for forsaking you?
Is this your retribution against the non-believers and those who question your existence?
I cry for help but no one answers my call.
I scream for peace but my mind continues to spin and churn.
I pray for relief from this turmoil but who will answer my prayers?
Dear Lord, please aid me in this endeavor and help me to fix the problems I have had a hand in causing.
Dear Lord, please mend the relationship we have both taken for granted.
Dear Lord, please let everything be okay, let us make it through this. We have been strong until this point.
Please continue to give us strength so as we can overcome this obstacle you have placed before us.
I know I ask a lot of you, but please help. He is my light and my life and without him I am lost.
Please Lord; heed the prayers of a lost and wandering soul.
Copyright © Elisia Barlow | Year Posted 2013
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Elisia Barlow Poem
Whispers are all I hear.
I can hear you talking,
whispering things,
excluding me.
Pain.
The prickle of tears behind my eyes,
but I won't let them out.
Can't show them that it hurts.
I am glass.
I am glass, cold, and clear.
Closed doors.
Whispering, berating me, and what I have done.
But how are you any better,
Converging and whispering about me?
Hypocrites.
Hypocritical of what I do,
but when you do it it's fine.
Two-faced bullies.
Throwing accusations at the weak.
Never listening to them trying to explain.
"I understand", she says.
But you don't.
You don't know the pain like I do.
You don't understand.
The shadows closing in,
the friendly look of the razor.
But I will not indulge.
I will not give in.
I am glass,
and you the angry child
throwing rocks at me.
Whispers and lingering looks.
Excluded.
Sitting thinking, "Who have I chased away this time?,
Who is here for me?"
No one.
I am glass and you cannot affect me.
Copyright © Elisia Barlow | Year Posted 2011
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Elisia Barlow Poem
"I had feelings for her"
Those five little words that in
any other sentence would have
had any other meaning but
together hurt me deeper than
any wound.
Those five little words that
were a wrecking ball and my
life was the condemned
building.
Those five words that made me
feel like a weed trampled in a
meadow filled with flowers.
"But it meant nothing."
Those four little words that felt
like a punch to the stomach.
Knocking all the air out of my
lungs and leaving me to feel
like I was suffocating.
"I chose you"
Those three little words that
shattered my heart because at
one point you made me an
option and her your choice.
"I'm sorry"
Those two little words that lost
all meaning.
One sentence filled with
eighteen little letters that made
up five little words caused my
world to crumble and fall.
Copyright © Elisia Barlow | Year Posted 2014
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