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Amanda Ward Poem
Haunted
Haunted by the past
Haunted by these memories that forever last
Get out of my head
Get out of my mind
Get out of my heart so I can leave you behind
You forgot my confession
You forgot my strives
You forgot all the moments shared in our lives
You'll never have to hear them
You'll never need to know
You'll never see these feelings, I'll never let them show
Behind these lonely memories
Behind these tear-filled eyes
Behind these broken feelings, I hide away in self-disguise
Between us are the special times
Between us is a wall
Between us was a relationship, picked up but only to fall
I chose to tell you the truth
I chose to tell you the facts
I chose to tell you how I felt, and was let down by confusing acts
I remember a time
I remember a love
I remember a story sent from above
My feelings are of love
My feelings are of hate
My feelings are a lie, thinking this was fate
How soon will I forget?
How soon will I move on?
How soon will I lose hope? I guess it's already gone
Even though this sounds a little harsh
Even though this sounds too cruel
Even though I still want friendship, I feel just like a fool
I'm sure that you don't want this
I'm sure that you don't care
I'm sure that in my heart no one will compare
Know that I wish you happiness
Know that I wish you well
Know that I'm not bitter, for our frienship I wish to excel
Copyright © Amanda Ward | Year Posted 2011
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Amanda Ward Poem
Once again I lie awake
for your memory remains within my mind.
The moment my eyelids rise to see
another day approaching me,
one by one they sink inside
filling, filling to the back of my eyes.
All the day through the images I see
remind me of another day, another time, another place
when I was yours and you were mine.
Back when our world together was carefree and complete
and everything was the way it still should be.
For awhile I smile and then it changes
as reality comes rushing back to me,
forcing me to remember I no longer have that,
I no longer live there, for tis' only a memory,
lost within a moment in time.
This feeling is indescribable for there are no words or ways
to speak or rhyme of this gutwrenching,
manipulative unhappiness that is felt.
There's not one day that can fade away the memory of the moment when I chose to
leave,
to leave the greatest life one could have known.
I ask myself day in and day out,
"How could I be so blind?
How could I neglect to see,
my everything was there before me?"
It was nothing but teenage stupidity.
If anywhere in this world,
a time machine could be found,
I'd fly first thing to you.
I'd forget all my fears and I'd love you.
I'd love you with all my heart,
with all my strength, all my mind.
I'd give everything I had to give,
and I'd be yours and you'd be mine.
When I see a picture I shed a tear,
If I listen to a song I wish you were near,
and as I say a prayer, I long for you to hear
all the things that were left unsaid,
how your heart was never fed the words, "I love you"
the way it should've been so many times.
Once again I realize it's too late
for you've already found a new love.
I thought I had done the same, but figured out I was wrong,
therefore your memory still echoes on.
There will never be another quite like you
for my once in a lifetime chance for happiness
has already come and gone.
Finally, the daylight turns to dark
and as the hours slowly pass,
memories still lingering, not allowing me to rest.
Beginning to feel nostalgic for your embrace
I try and pass the time,
which is easier said than done.
Nothing can kill a memory
when the mind wants it to stay alive.
I lie in the bed, uncovered, not dead,
but more awake than ever before,
for one by one they sink inside
filling, filling to the back of my eyes.
Scared to sleep for your face never hides.
Nevertheless I turn out the light.
Now you know why I can't close my eyes at night.
Copyright © Amanda Ward | Year Posted 2011
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Amanda Ward Poem
What is the meaning of love?
It can be all sorts of things.
But to me, the right meaning
Can only come in a dream.
In a dream we can imagine love
However we want it to be.
Sacred, true, honest, free?
Much better than love in reality.
In reality love is not so kind.
It's off and on and off again.
Broken hearts can never mend.
Do we care, or don't we? We can't pretend.
To pretend to love is only wicked
But so many do these days.
With hurtful acts and deceitful ways
We are left in a heartbroken phase.
A phase of love is so easily mistaken
To be the real, true thing.
So aren't we better off if we only imagine
And only live love in a dream?
Copyright © Amanda Ward | Year Posted 2011
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Amanda Ward Poem
Another child was born today
To grow up strong and proud she may.
But for now she's young and small
She's growing fast and she loves to play ball.
Her tenth birthday is coming up
For Christmas this year she got her first pup.
She's into guys
And her self esteem dies
And her life seems to tie up in knots.
Her heart has been broken over and over again
One of these days she swears she's going to win!
Now she settles down and gets married
And over the thresh-hold she is carried.
They start a new family
With one baby baby boy.
She looks in his eyes as he receives his first toy.
The boy grows older and so does she
More and more are added to the tree.
As she takes her last breaths
She remembers her life
As it passes before her weak, sad eyes.
She calls to her son and the rest of the family
To tell them just how much she cares,
"I love you all, and I'll see you there."
Copyright © Amanda Ward | Year Posted 2011
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Amanda Ward Poem
Sometimes I find myself
staring toward that big, sparkling sky
asking God to bring me the perfect man.
The man who will complete me
and make me feel higher than the highest mountain top,
more beautiful than the biggest diamond,
and more loved than we hear in fairytales.
Sometimes I find tears on my pillow
and sadness in my heart,
and so I ask God to show me that special one.
The one who can kiss those tears away
and fill that empty hole
and help me to grow.
Sometimes I feel like I'm not being heard
because I just can't seem to find
the perfect man, that special one.
I know you're really out there,
maybe you're miles away
or just right in front of me.
But I know that wherever you are,
you're waiting and praying for me just the same.
So until I find the perfect man,
that special one,
I'll keep on looking at that big, sparkling sky,
I'll keep on waiting for that beautiful, bright star,
and I'll keep on asking God where you are.
Copyright © Amanda Ward | Year Posted 2011
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