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Maybe Moni Poem
They call it a win
when a wealthy man pushing thirty
wants a pretty girl who's barely eighteen.
A girl still learning the shade of her own skin
still waking up from childhood dreams
But it doesn't matter,
what matters is
she looks good beside him.
They tell her she's lucky
Because he chose her
and he'll provide
Because she's young
and that's Currency
Because her skin is still tight
And eyes still shine
As if love is comfort
As if survival means being alive
No one asks
will he comfort her when she breaks down?
Will he understand her silence,
her overthinking, her fragile moods,
hold her the way she needs?
No one asks, if he drinks.
If he cheats
If he’s ever hurt a woman before
If he’s capable of love
or just trained to perform it
But he has a salary slip
So who cares right?
Because here marriage is not love
it’s legacy
It's dowry disguised as tradition
youth exchanged for stability
beauty sold to the man
with the most property
And when she says no
or even not yet
they say she’s too picky
Too stubborn, an ungrateful b!tch
Because how dare a girl
want more than a husband who pays the bills?
They tell her love is fiction
real life is compromise
Happiness is stability
even if your heart rots as a price
So, many girls get married
while grieving quietly
They walk down aisles
everyone claps
But no one notices
the funeral happening inside her
And when it fails
they ask why
Why don’t they love each other?
Why is she depressed?
Why does she feel empty
even in diamonds and expensive dress?
Because nobody taught the man
how to love
They taught him how to provide
How to choose a young, obedient girl
How to demand purity
despite all the women he left behind
drunk nights and broken promises
And he wants a good girl
Who was taught to wait
to look pretty, to be chosen
But has he ever been a good man?
But they marry
She cooks, cleans
Bleeds every month in silence
Pretending this is happiness
And the tragedy repeats
Beauty marries wealth
Again, and again
Like a script that has been written
With permanent ink
Untill, one girl says no.
Not because she isn’t scared
But because she’s tired of being sold
Because she wants to grow old
with someone who sees her
when her skin no longer has the glow
when she’s messy
when she’s crying at 2 am
for no reason at all
She wants someone who chooses her
not for her age, or beauty
but for the fire in her soul
And they’ll say she’s foolish
That she’ll end up alone
But maybe alone
is better than being half-loved
and being sold.
Copyright © Maybe Moni | Year Posted 2025
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Maybe Moni Poem
You asked, "out of everyone, why me?"
I know the answer now, maybe.
They come to me, drawn in
by the way I’ve been existing.
They compliment the things
they can see.
but none of it matters,
it never did to me.
Because I know, deep down,
they don’t really see me.
Not like the way, i let you see.
And I hate that.
I hate that no matter how many eyes are on me,
I still feel invisible to the one that matters to me.
And i hate that,
I still wish you’d reach out to me.
Just once.
I wish you’d prove you meant it
when you whispered, I love you so, so much.
When you swore this wasn’t easy for you either.
When you left behind words but no actions,
feelings but no fights.
And i hate that,
You thought this is for the best.
As if leaving didn’t hurt,
as if your silence wasn’t its own kind of violence.
And i hate that,
You believe staying away
is the right thing to do.
And maybe i could move on,
the way you told me to.
There are hands reaching for me,
voices calling my name,
new stories waiting to be written.
And i hate that, I don’t want them.
Because none of them are you.
And i hate that,
I can't rip that feeling out of me.
I can't forget how you fit into my world
before you chose to leave it lonely.
But instead, i sit in the emptiness you left behind,
lovesick for a ghost that has already died.
And i hate that, no matter what i do
I can't bring myself to hate you
Not even for the hell i felt.
And i hate that,
you're someone I can never hate.
— 30/03/2025
Copyright © Maybe Moni | Year Posted 2025
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Maybe Moni Poem
The moon looks lonely tonight.
Or maybe it always was.
I don’t know.
I never really noticed before.
it always seemed so bright,
so surrounded, so admired.
How could something so full of light
feel so alone, right?
But tonight it feels different.
Tonight, I see it.
Or am i projecting?
Maybe it’s not the moon that changed.
Maybe it’s just me.
You remember when I told you
I talk to the moon about you?
I still do.
Every night.
Not because I think it’ll answer,
but because it stays.
Because it listens.
Because saying your name out loud
still feels like breathing.
Like letting the stars know
you existed in me.
And the stars get nosy,
they blush and twinkle away
every time i say your name.
And I laugh,
that stupid kind of laugh
that sounds like crying if you close your eyes.
You used to say
if we ever laid under the stars together,
my eyes would dim them.
That I hold galaxies in my eyes.
That I shine brighter than the moon itself.
God, I didn’t believe you.
But I wanted to.
Because when you said it,
for a second,
I almost did.
You made me feel like maybe I was something
And I hate that,
I still remember every word
you have ever said
like they got carved into my ribs.
You made me feel like magic,
but you,
you are the spell.
That I just cant break through.
Honestly, maybe i don't want to.
I wish we had that night on the grass.
I wish I could’ve seen you
beneath the same stars you said I outshone.
While you whisper sweet nothings in my ear
like you always do.
And the moon looks lonely tonight,
or maybe I'm just projecting again.
Maybe the moon is the mirror
I keep trying to find myself in.
And still,
I whisper to the night
hoping It'd carry a piece of me
to you.
Copyright © Maybe Moni | Year Posted 2025
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Maybe Moni Poem
If you asked me at age six,
I might've told you
I want to become a doctor, a scientist
or even a hero that saves the planet.
But now I feel so ancient,
like I’ve lived a hundred years
in quiet rooms where no one noticed
the girl holding the walls up.
I’ve carried generations in my chest
my mother’s sorrow,
my friends’ storms,
strangers' cries through screens.
But no one asked about the violence
it took to be this nice.
I don’t know at what age i started
pretending i didn’t feel pain.
Maybe it was when i realized
crying only made things worse.
When the people who were supposed to hold me
looked away, or worse,
blamed me for the ache i couldn’t name.
I was never the child
who got to throw tantrums and be soothed.
I was the one who stayed quiet
so no one else would hurt.
I was never the child who broke things,
I was the one who fixed it,
the one who swallowed her tears
so her mother wouldn’t drown in them.
the one who cleaned up the emotional mess
of people too broken
to see they were breaking me.
I forgave my mother before i understood
what forgiveness even meant.
I learned to rationalize pain
before i even learned to spell it.
Every year, i told myself,
“you’re so mature for your age.”
like it was a good thing.
like it wasn’t just another way of saying,
“you're not going to be saved"
I grew up too fast.
Maturity wasn’t a badge of honor,
it was a survival instinct.
And so i became
the understanding daughter,
the forgiving friend.
The girl who sees the best in people
even when they hand her their worst.
I said “it’s okay” so many times
my throat forgot how to say
anything else.
I was just a little girl
who wanted to be held,
not lectured,
not told to be quiet.
Not blamed for someone else’s bad day,
just held.
I forgave my mother
before i even understood why she hurt me.
Before i knew that love isn’t supposed to
feel like guilt.
Like walking on glass to earn a hug.
Like apologizing for bleeding
after someone else cuts you.
I always had to be the bigger person.
Even when i was the smallest one in the room.
But what about me?
Who held me when i was hurting?
Who listened when i was silent
But screaming, crying,
Begging to be seen.
So, i want to become
the listener, the healer,
the wise one in the room.
The girl who always gets it,
and says the right things.
I want to become someone,
I needed so badly
but never had.
—12th april,2025
Copyright © Maybe Moni | Year Posted 2025
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Maybe Moni Poem
It’s past 2 am again,
And there's an itch in my chest,
Not for sleep, not for peace,
but for complete numbness.
I don’t know how long i’ve been lying here,
scrolling, staring, spiraling,
begging my thoughts to stop chewing me alive.
Every corner of my mind feels bruised
But all i’ve done is exist.
i keep saying i don’t want to feel like this anymore
but the truth?
i don’t know, without the pain
who I am
Without the ache that wraps around my ribs
and holds me tighter than anyone else
without the silence
that sits beside me in bed
and stays longer than anyone ever has
But sometimes,
i want to drink my feelings away
get so high that i forget my own name
But i dont want those substances
I want what it promises
A break, a breath, for a few hours,
even for a few moments
No, i don't crave the taste of wine
But, I wish i could leave this head of mine
I want the silence
that doesn't make me feel punished
Stillness without the guilt
I just want something to wash this
fkng feeling out of me,
scrub the grief off my skin.
Burn my throat to the point
I forget how to speak.
But i don’t do it.
I just sit here sober
and feel everything.
feel it burn through me
like acid in my throat,
like screaming underwater,
like heartbreak that never got
the dignity of a goodbye ever.
I feel so fking pathetic
I give advice like i’m wise,
Like i know so much more.
But when it comes to me,
I'm suddenly a child again
crying on the floor.
Begging my mother to love me,
hold me in her arms just once more.
I speak like I've got it all figured out,
But i can’t even hold myself together,
even for a minute more,
without thinking about the past
Without falling the fck apart
Without wondering if i was ever loved
or just used all along.
But, i don’t want to die
I just want to pause
I just want to blackout,
just for a little while and forget
there's pressure in my chest
Forget what's haunting me,
the quiet war that wont let me rest.
I want the silence to stretch my chest so wide
to the point there's no room
for memories, for longing
for anything at all
I just want to sleep
To fall into the arms of a dream
and not hear "you'll be fine"
because maybe i wont
Maybe i’m not
maybe this is just a part of me,
part of who I'll ever be
I just want to shatter quietly
without letting anyone know
Because i’m the strong one
And i have to glow.
But tonight I'm not
And tonight i dont want to be
the one that glows
Tonight i want to be consumed by darkness
untill there's nothing left of me
nothing at all
Copyright © Maybe Moni | Year Posted 2025
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Maybe Moni Poem
I’ve known the kind of cold
that sinks into your ribs,
makes a home in your chest,
whispers that it will never leave.
I’ve felt nights stretch too long,
Lay awake with the weight of it all.
wondering if the ache would ever stop,
if I would ever feel like myself at all.
if I even knew who that was anymore.
But today, I walked.
Not to escape, not to forget
just to move, just to breathe.
The trees, once stripped bare,
now wear their first green.
The flowers, delicate, beautiful,
open without any fear.
I touched one, traced its petals,
And breathed it in.
It didn’t ask why my fingers were shaking
Or what I've been through,
it just smiled at me, so pure, so true.
And i thought, maybe I can too.
Maybe to meet spring,
There's winter that we must go through.
Maybe, after everything, i will bloom too.
— 24/03/2025
Copyright © Maybe Moni | Year Posted 2025
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Maybe Moni Poem
I don't even know how to start
because every time I try to write you
my hands shake,
Like they know this means something
Like you're not just someone
you're my safe haven
I remember the day
when i finally sat across you
not through a screen, not in my head
but really there
Close enough to touch your face
to hear the softness in your voice
when you said my name
like I'm all you ever wanted
I looked at your hands first
then your eyes
and then looked away
I was terrified you’d see everything
everything I’ve tried so hard to keep hidden
And maybe you did
yes you did
God, i felt your eyes reading me
like i was your favourite poem
Even though i was written in a messy
raw, honest way
you didnt flinch, didnt blink
you didn't look away
and I swear something in me cracked open
But not from pain
but from this aching warmth
I didnt know I needed
until you gave it to me
I dont know how you do it
How you handle me so gently
like a little carelessness
and I'll break completely
I dont know how you understand me
without needing any explaining
How you reach parts of me
even i stopped trying to touch
I dont know how you can see me
like I’m not broken, just layered
Like you were not scared of my depth
you wanted to swim in all of it
Like i wasn’t the storm you wanted to escape
I was the rain you wanted to dance in
Like i was the ocean you'd drown in
if it meant you’d get to know me
Like i wasn't too much or too less
I was just enough
And God, i wish i could tell you
what you do to me
How i wish I could hide in your chest
and tell you how much you mean to me
how you make me feel safe
You’re everything I wished for
You’re the calm in my chaos
gentle in a world that makes me feel like
I have to be less
But with you?
I want to be everything
because you let me
Because i know despite it all
you'll still adore me
You're not only someone i love
you're someone i feel
Deep in my ribs
in the softest parts of me
I never let anyone see
But i couldnt tell you
I couldn't even utter a word
I took a deep breath
and looked you in the eyes
But I got shy, I forgot what to say
I just looked at you with feelings
hoping my eyes would convey
But you were already staring
And God, i was so wrecked
Oh, i swear the world could've stopped right there
and I wouldnt need a single other thing
But your eyes on me
I dont know if i deserve it, Its hard to believe
that the epitome of perfection
can love a broken mess
But when you look at me with those eyes
I feel like art
like a masterpiece itself
Copyright © Maybe Moni | Year Posted 2025
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Maybe Moni Poem
If only you had asked me, just once
to stay, to hold on, to try.
I would have fought the doubts,
swallowed the pain,
let love bleed me dry.
Just a word, a plea, even hollow, even small
Even a little whisper that barely meant at all
But you never spoke, you let me go
And, that perhaps, still hurts the most.
I wish your fingers had clung to mine,
shaking, refusing to break away.
I wish your voice had cracked on "stay"
but wishes mean nothing today.
You let me go like i was nothing,
Like i was weightless on your hands.
Not a whisper, not a tremor,
no desperate plea to make me stand.
The pain of leaving shattered me,
but staying in silence burned much worse.
Still, I would have endured it all
every sleepless night, every curse.
Only if you had asked me once..
Now the voices haunt me,
whispering truths I cannot bear
that your love was shallow, words were hollow,
that you didn’t really care.
And though you were the greatest thing
that ever happened in my days,
I find myself still wishing now,
that we had never crossed our ways.
— 05/03/2025
Copyright © Maybe Moni | Year Posted 2025
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