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Cat Bevins Poem
I love the winter, the way it whirls my breath
Away; reminds me I am alive, there's hope.
I love the ferns bejeweled in snow, the heath
As it patterns our legs, walking forest-roads.
I love the spring, that washes snow away,
Brings flowers, strong roots, fragile and pale-
Seeming. I love the summer, storm-blaze
Lazy lightning, theater of stars, golden corn
That nourishes body and soul. Yet much more
I love my friend, Artemis-twin, born
Under the weight of July, dice against the score,
Surviving, with lightning bolt in her spine.
Her autumn rain, soft and healing, but strong,
Metallic purple dancing in wind-song.
Copyright © Cat Bevins | Year Posted 2024
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Cat Bevins Poem
You can never be ready, she said
I wasn't what you expected.
Listen,
No one told me "postpartum depression"
Until I saw you in the kitchen
With my baby sister at your feet,
White hot tears,
A savage grief,
Out of nowhere.
I was told to go play with my dolls.
Listen,
I thought it was my fault,
So I hid in my dark closet.
Listen,
When you couldn't care for us
I watched for you each day
With blue-brown eyes, mix of two loves,
Seeing your ghost,
The shadow of your blue coat,
In the window,
In the swirling, aching, endless snow
At the edge of winter.
Listen.
I am forever my mother's child.
Copyright © Cat Bevins | Year Posted 2024
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Cat Bevins Poem
I was born in the sunshine of your house.
I remember the soft fold of your smile,
As you read me bedtime stories,
Sprouting in my memory,
The fall of your heavy dark hair,
Like velvet,
As you bent to kiss me good night.
And, just as clearly, I remember the darkness, emptiness, that fell
Over us;
The empty space that was you.
Broken fences and runaway tears
We couldn't hold in,
Crashing anger and grief.
Alike in our sadness and our looks,
I longed to break through the barbed wire of our hearts,
But couldn't.
I go now
Where I can see:
The flowers blooming;
Trees, thick as wool woven in a loom;
Clouds blowing free,
Behind black boundaries.
Where I can see me
And not just your shadow.
I go now
Not because I don't love you
But because I know
I can't love if I can't breathe.
Copyright © Cat Bevins | Year Posted 2024
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Cat Bevins Poem
Tiny baby with butterfly wings
Asleep
Dreaming of flying
Bright eyes cocooned by soft brown hair
What do you see?
Half-feeling, half-awake;
Round pink fists, round pink knees.
Tiny body, strong and full of hope.
For your sake
And for mine
I hope you never forget how to fly.
Copyright © Cat Bevins | Year Posted 2024
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Cat Bevins Poem
Waking up in the morning:
The way the blankets cling
And shiver against my skin.
That first breath that tells me I'm
Alive and fighting.
The sleepy darkness,
An envelope of silence;
The way the sunlight glows against closed curtains,
Like someone I once knew asking to be let in.
In the bathroom,
The way cold water feels against my face as white skin blooms
This body I hate
Holds me, keeps me standing, waits
Gentle after each tantrum on the bathroom floor.
At breakfast, I eat because I know there's more,
Or something worth fighting for:
Like darkness, sunlight, water, poetry, a little boy I left at home
But will return to soon.
Yet the journey is slow and takes time.
Fingers linger over my cup of tea,
Reminding me
That honey is the color of sunshine
And sunshine the color of hope.
Copyright © Cat Bevins | Year Posted 2024
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