Cat Bevins Poet Free verse

My Mother's Child

You can never be ready, she said
I wasn't what you expected.
Listen,
No one told me "postpartum depression"
Until I saw you in the kitchen
With my baby sister at your feet,
White hot tears,
A savage grief,
Out of nowhere.
I was told to go play with my dolls.
Listen,
I thought it was my fault,
So I hid in my dark closet.
Listen,
When you couldn't care for us
I watched for you each day
With blue-brown eyes, mix of two loves,
Seeing your ghost,
The shadow of your blue coat,
In the window,
In the swirling, aching, endless snow
At the edge of winter.
Listen.
I am forever my mother's child.

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