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Kayla Simino-Ruch Poem
I am undeniably sad
Consumed by dismay
I am angry at the world
Out of sight & in shadows, I stay
My stomach churns wild
A tempest inside
At what my life has wrought
I am consumed with fear
But I've nowhere to hide
Lurches and churns, but I have nothing to hurl
My life is just nauseous with strife
I've become stricken with worry,
For my exhausting life
I turn rapidly now
In a relentless descent
I am a mere product of my grief
And in silence, I lament
Copyright © Kayla Simino-Ruch | Year Posted 2024
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Kayla Simino-Ruch Poem
Since that morning, and this morning, and every day and night that may have passed, I have tried but pitifully failed to keep myself from crying uncontrollably every day. I find myself having to adjust a little more to the fact that you are gone and you were gone before even being given the chance to make a mark on this world & show everyone what you would have grown to be capable of. I know this is a part of life but it is not supposed to be a part of life that so frequently people see, because it just overwhelms us with profound grief, destroying our lives, but sometimes we just pretend that we are fine again today as much as the day before.
Today I miss you
I sit in the living room
To see your photos
Copyright © Kayla Simino-Ruch | Year Posted 2024
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Kayla Simino-Ruch Poem
We paused for a snack
And threw them all back
Got in the car
But didn't drive very far
We stopped down the street
At a ducked away park
We took off our shoes
And played in the creek before dark
Things started to get wavy
And I started feeling crazy
Because I started paying attention
To this particularly noticeable ant
He sized me up under a leaf
He wanted to fight , I said, "I can't"
Amazed by mother nature
Making insects speak to me
Mind boggling me with
crazy things, unnaturally
We ran through the grass
Back under the pavilion over the hill
In awe at some birds
That couldn't seem to be still
We watched as they circled around us in twos
Eyes dancing with their wings, and the reds and the blues
Of the colors they displayed
As they flew around us in a circle
I think I might have even caught a glimpse
Of a pretty blue violet or purple
I turned my attention
To the point of the ceiling
And I started to get
An uneasy feeling
The birds had a nest
Up in between the wood and it's cracks
And I told my friend
I thought they might be trying to attack
First an ant, now these birds
We must be disturbing their homes
But we were so high and didn't understand
Would've been best to have left them alone
Somehow at some point
We made it back into the car
And drove back to my friend's house
But it seemed to be so far
We must have drove around for hours
I don't know how we weren't swerving in the street
I was on cloud 9, she was so high in the air
And we couldn't feel anything under our feet
Safely, thankfully, we made it back
Physically made it anyways
But for my mind to come back from this trip
Had afterwards, took me days
We never stopped laughing
The whole way there
I don't think we really ever made it
But I don't even care
The whole time was so good
And yet again I had felt
It WAS possible, if even for a moment
For all of the calamity to melt
Away from my life
And no longer be there
The feeling of living overwhelmed us
And I didn't have to care
As this adventure had come to a close
We started to see things in ways
I don't think either of us knows
These Halloween decorations
That were still hung on the wall
Started laughing their butts off
And I thought they might fall
Onto my face , because I laid underneath
So I turned myself around
So they would only fall onto my feet
I don't exactly remember
Anything else about the end
Because I'm still on that trip
With one of my best friends
Copyright © Kayla Simino-Ruch | Year Posted 2024
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Kayla Simino-Ruch Poem
What am I to feel now
That my tears have dried up
And my sorrow is in a deep sleep
Wrapped in a blanket
Soaked heavy with bitterness and doubt
I lie on the floor and it invites my weight
It's chill offered solace
For a heart that is now weary
And lying flat where grief has consumed
What haunts me is the decision
To shatter this porcelain bond
Or cling to this mask , tightly
In a play with no audience
Where vows hang like ghosts
And desires endlessly echo
Through our abandoned halls of love
Meanwhile the truth
Raw and hideous
Whisper secrets too hard to hold
Filling silences with dread
The way nightmares come true
And each of your breaths a reminder
Of empty spaces that are left
Where passion once did linger
But since has fled from our lives
What am I supposed to do now
When walking feels like sleeping
Reaching out for you leads me
To only nothingness
And dreams unravel, frayed
In the dark corners of my mind
Where I search for remnants
But only find shards of pain
Copyright © Kayla Simino-Ruch | Year Posted 2024
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